The Son Still Reigns

Aaron's story

2012-01-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

October 27, 2009 at 10:27am Aaron came into this world.

I wanted to have a vbac but after 41 weeks and a 24 hour pitosin drip it didn't appear that this little guy had any intention of gracing us with his presence. so we headed in for c-section #3. At first it seemed fine. Baby was taken out. He appeared to be healthy. after showing him to me they whisked him and frank off to the nursery...

that's when things seemed to go dreadfully wrong.

I remember moving to a different gurney and then wheeled down another hallway
and then I was lightheaded and woozy.. and I heard my Dr say something about losing too much blood too fast... we have to open her back up... and the last memory I have is praying..."Lord, just let me see my baby.. if you don't want me to have more children then let me know somehow"

I wouldn't meet Aaron for another 6-7 hours. Little did I know that my very life was in the balance as I hemoragged. and the very 1st words the nurse uttered to me was ... "welcome back, they managed to save all your girl parts" and I have been told that at that point I insisted they hook me up to a breast pump cuz I was absolutely certain my little guy would be beyond starving.

We had a rough start... but we both made it. We struggled with nursing, but this mama cannot be dissuaded. After months of pumping he finally latched on and nursed like a trooper until a month before his 2nd birthday. He even met my dad before my dad passed away... I honestly expected him to be our last little one.

but this past spring we found out we were expecting again. The Dr's looked for something to be wrong. but even the placenta despite multiple c-sections was placed perfectly. And while we are not attempting a vbac we are praying for a smooth and uneventful birth story.

Some girls dream of princes on white horses...

2011-12-29T16:09:00.001-08:00

But not me.
When I was a kid I spent time dreaming of going to marineland in niagra falls, Canada. We lived a little more than 2 hours away... and from the time I was little I was completely smitten with orcas, and bottle nose dolphins, and sea lions. My favorite show was flipper and I spent hours dreaming of swimming with those amazing mammals & In southern California it seems everyone wants to go to Disney ... but not me. I mean I am sure it would be fun. But. I still dream of sitting by the blue pool watching the whales swim smelling the salty air. Sitting in the splash zone.... listening to the otters, & seals as the bark and play, touching the starfish in the tidal pools, feeding the bat rays.

My dream takes us to Seaworld SD and I am beside myself with anticipation!

When love came down.

2011-12-22T10:49:00.001-08:00

Lately I have been hearing mixed messages about Jesus.

Some would say.... well we ALL are saved. God is a good God He doesn't want anyone in hell. And while part of that IS true God is a good God and he most certainly doesn't desire to send people to hell ... He does. When we don't choose Him. The only way to Him is through His one and only Son, Jesus.

Recently I heard a pastor teach on the 7 major world religions. On the chart he handed out he said that 33% of the world is Christian. But in that 33% he included many different nonchristian believers. People groups that do not believe that Jesus is the one and only way to heaven. I do think that in that liberalism.... in that "religious tolerance" the truth is watered down too much and that the Gospel is not preached in a way that leads anyone to the saviour.

But the opposite is also true.

I have dear friends that are Messianic in their faith... that observe the Sabbath and follow the rules in the Torah claiming the law is the only way. I think this is equally dangerous. Being too bound by the law, and entangled in the chains of legalism they teach that Christmas is an abomination. But sadly at a time of tear when many seek the saviour - they are pushing them away from the Jesus who paid the ultimate sacrifice and took their place killed as a common criminal for their sin. Are they so far removed from the day they received their own salvation that they can no longer remember the redemption that was inly available by grace. That whether they trim a tree or debate when the birth of Jesus actually took place upon the Hebraic calendar doesn't really matter at all. It is the birth of Jesus that is important not the debates. As those debates could lead unbelievers further and further from how great Gods love is.

Do we celebrate Christmas? Well we do. But hopefully like many other Bible believing Christian families we do it differently. We go to church on Christmas eve. We try not to get sucked into the vortex of greed and commercialism. We try to live within our means. Not purchasing needlessly on credit buying things we cannot afford. Trying to teach our children that black Friday... in itself is not evil.... but the greed associated with it is. We teach that Santa was a real man... the history and truth... and that all good gifts are from God. We don't pretend to deceive them that they will find laptops, ans ipods under the tree... as those things fade. We exchange 3 gifts. Some of which are handmade... a representation that the baby in the manger was brought 3 gifts by the Magi. We teach the truth of His birth. That the babe in a manger was probably not born in December but that this is when we celebrate His birth as Christians. We bake cookies and take them to neighbors as a gesture of kindness. We do.much like this throughout the year but we do make an extra effort at Christmas and pray a bit more fervently that they also would come to know and love Jesus.

Unlike my very liberal friends we serve Jesus with our lives - where often you cannot tell whether or not they are believers. The profess christ with their mouth and yet deny Him with their actions. My other friends abide by the letter of the law. The law Jesus came to complete because noone could achieve it. They measure how they love Jesus by how strictly they follow the law.

But I don't think that is the answer either
I think when Jesus is your 1st love you live your life seeking after Him. Reading His word. Abiding in His desires. But all the time being aware that you are saved by grace... and you want everyone you know to experience that grace and love Jesus like you do.... drawing them to the saviour not repelling them from Him.

May you share the truth of the saviour this holiday with friends, family, and those you just meet. Making them ask you - what is different about your life. Take time to keep Jesus at the center of this holiday. Bring someone a warm meal, a plate of cookies, a gift for their children but most importantly invite them to church and introduce them.to your 1st love - and maybe if you can't say that Jesus is your 1st love... its time to let Him be that.

OverRuled. the movie

2011-11-23T00:10:00.001-08:00

If you are a parent...
If you ever want to be or plan to be a parent....
Please, set aside 35 minutes and watch this short film put out by parentalrights.org

Schnoodle sadness....

2011-11-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

We buried Bella today. She was a schnoodle and she was 10 months old. And while her cause of death is unclear it might have been a direct result of an adverse side effect from a pill called "comfortis" known to kill fleas.

What is in the fine print is that it causes all sorts of side effects. vomiting. up to 6 days. decreased appetite. Lethargy. diarreah. and seizures just to name a few. it is a systemic pesticide that we now "safely" give our animal to get rid of fleas. And I did something I never do. I gave it to her without reading about the risks before administering it.

why?
I have no idea.

I am a shot delaying mama.
I dont even do the flu shot cuz i have read too much negative stuff.
and yet I gave my 10 month old pup a pestiticide to ingest to rid us of fleas.
stupid.
and now she is gone.

we buried her today in the desert. the vet said Tuesday to bring her in by Thursday if she didnt get better. problem is Wed she seemed deaf. and perhaps had already had tonic seizure activity. she was still drinking and trying to eat... but it was too late. When we awoke this morning she had died in her sleep..

perhaps there were underlying issues. I will never know. What I do know is that I will never give my dogs a flea pill again. I will go topical long before I ever consider giving them an internal pesticide.

before you do please read ALL the links in this post thouroughly.

A Day at the nut farm

2011-10-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

An Urgent matter

2011-10-15T00:10:00.000-07:00

It's Time from IPHC Ministries on Vimeo.

2011-10-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

I am sure none of my readers have ever experienced mommy burn out before...
but I am there.
at the cusp of why do i homeschool my children?
(knowing all the reasons why i do it)
why doesnt anyone ever obey me?
why can't they just seem to care about what they do...?

so we changed gears this year. A more relaxed approach. but it just seems like they dont care..about anything sometimes. It feels like I prepare or get excited for something only to walk upstairs and see my hallway and a bedroom thrashed by legos.... or see the arm of yet another doll chewed by the puppy.... i think I am just completely and utterly overwhelmed. exhausted. frazzled. and burnt out.

but if that is true... where does that leave us as a homeschooling family?
Even a more relaxed one?
I feel like with each passing day
I am just a little more taken advantage of...
just a little more less respected....
just a little more discouraged.....
just a little more overwhelmed....
just a little more exhausted.

I know my joy is in the Lord.
I am just having a really hard time keeping and maintaining a happiness with my children.
and why I homeschool is multilayered.
I feel led to do it.
but I really want to enjoy my kids.
and i dont know what to do at this point to change any part of that equation.
so
yeah.

180 The movie

2011-10-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

watch it!

I have very strong opinions on this topic. The halocaust it being erased from our history books and abortion is killing millions of babies. please.. no matter what your opinion is on either of these two topics watch this short 33 minute film before you make a decision!

Bear claw sweet bread ,,,, mmmmm mmmm mmmmm

2011-09-26T23:52:00.000-07:00

So this is a very old school recipe I thought I would try out today to share with some awesome peeps at Bible study tonight. I tried 2 variations but the bread recipe remained the same ...you can chage up your filling any way you would like. Here goes...
Yeast Coffee Cake braid dough

(I mixed the dough in my bread maker to speed things up a tad)

1/2 cup butter softened
1/2 cup milk
3/4 cup water
2 eggs
1/4-1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp lemon rind (grated)
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 cups flour ( or until dough is workable and not sticky)
2 Tbsp yeast

I put the ingrediesnts into my bread machine on the dough setting and an hour and a half later I had workable dough.I rolled out the dough onto a non stick cookie sheet. I filled one loaf with slivered almonds, cinnamon and sugar and almond paste and braided it. Maked it in the oven at 350 for 25-30 minutes and glazed with powdered sugar, milk and vanilla icing that I made
repeated the process again for a 2nd loaf and filled with everything you would put in your favorite peach cobbler.. braided it up and went about 30 minutes at 350. The 2nd bread was a bit moister ... I suspect from the canned peaches but tasty! glazed this one with the same topping as the 1st.

Its not a super fancy recipe but yummy. You could fill with your fave ingredients. apples, peaches, bear claw, blueberry, cream cheese and raspberry jam... I suppose any of your favorite insides since the sweet bread recipe remains about the same. ENJOY!

unit study: snails

2011-09-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

so, homeschooling is in full swing around here and while I do encourage the kids to do some self directed learning we do like to get together and do family unit studies at least once a month.... so in August our topic was ......

SNAILS

We spent some time making some places for our garden snails to hide from predators

and some time making snail families.... out of clay

and then we took on the garden science experiment to discover how many snails lived in our garden....

we marked 50 snails with dark blue non toxic paint

recorded data

were very curious

held a snail olympics (not really)

but we did study their behaviors and mannerisms

found out each one had an individual personality

and even got a little silly

we discovered in our garden that we have about 650 snails. we went back a week later and collected as many as we could in the same amount of time it took us to find the 1st 50 at the same time of day. apparently when you divide that number (50) by the number you found you get the approximate number of snails in your garden.

I love doing unit studies with the kids. I think there is sometimes more that you can learn as a group from one another. We did some other stuff too. A snail lapbook from homeschoolshare.com as well as some water color paintings of snails. we read a few good online articles here & here and even wrote a few creative tales about them! My younger kids even did some fun phonics printables about them!

and this time anyway, we even remembered to take a few photos! and videos!!

Invisible

2011-09-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

recently I went to a Women of Faith concert in Anaheim CA this past weekend and saw an incredible skit by Katherine Everett, an exceptionally talented young lady who led a skit called "Invisible"

Some days I think that is my life...

that no one sees me... or hears me..or even notices when I am not there.

And then I saw this invisible woman skit (except it was done by Catherine Everett)

and I realized, maybe...

I want to be invisible.

If you are a woman... a wife... a mom... and feeling a little less than visible please please GO & watch this.

Perhaps you too will start to want to feel invisible, like me.

our week at Family Camp

2011-08-18T23:00:00.001-07:00

Scrapbook design customized with Smilebox

Rest in Peace

2011-07-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

I have never claimed to be the most popular gal when it comes to topics... mostly cuz I am willing to tackle the tough stuff. I have felt this one brewing for over a week.... so here goes nothing...

so recently another rock star passed from this life into eternity, and all over facebook I saw R.I.P Amy.
This really really really bothered me.
People all over the web posting Rest in Peace...

really?

Do YOU think she rests in peace tonight?

or is that just something we do for not telling the world about the Jesus we love and adore and then keep to ourself?

or.....
Is that something we do because we cant imagine the idea that real people do spend eternity in hell?

Now Hell was NOT created for us. In fact I truly believe God's heart breaks every single time one of the beloved people He created is sent to that most unfathomable horrific place. But reality is: There is an eternity and only 2 paths. heaven or hell. and real people DO spend an eternity there.... and if you dont choose Jesus that IS where you end up. In Hell. for Eternity.

folks. that is forever.

F.O.R.E.V.E.R

and I think this parable bothers me the most about it....

Luke 16:19-31

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Rich Man and Lazarus

19 “There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. 20 But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate, 21 desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell[a] from the rich man’s table. Moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

24 “Then he cried and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. 26 And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.’

27 “Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’ 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’”

You see there are several things that deeply disturb me about this parable but .... the rich man can see into heaven. He cries out to Lazarus to simply touch his tongue for just a moment of relief... and then to be sent back so that his family members could avoid this torment.... but nowhere in the parable does Lazarus respond. Abraham does. Now I am not a Bible scholar.... but what if people in hell (hades) can see us in heaven and cry out to us... but we cant see them??? But based on this parable, just knowing they are there in torment wishing someone would go back and warn their family, their loved ones... so that they too could rest in peace in the Eternity of heaven.... bothers me deeply. What if that someone is me that they can see. Or You?

So be intentional and share your faith, invite folks to church, go where the people who dont know Jesus are and share the amazing Saviour with them - but dont just assume that everyone rests in peace.

priorities

2011-07-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

so this morning as I contemplated a facebook status I realized my thoughts were far too complicated for that.. so instead i have a blog post (some of you are thinking finally.... or maybe oh no)

so...

what if we followed God ALL the time? not just when it's convenient for us to do so.....?

and I realized that was probably a little more than a facebook post.

I mean what would that really look like?

in real life?

Does it mean I would choose to eat a pomegranate.... over a cheeseburger?
or would I listen to hymns over my favorite artist?
or read my Bible over my favorite author?
or go to work over going to church?
or go grocery shopping over taking my kids to youth group?

I think it has to do with living intentionally for God all the time... not just when we feel like it.
and that is not easy.

So ... today I am finding myself waiting upon the Lord just a little bit more...
asking him to direct my steps and actually mean it...
and then when He leads I follow.

and its hard.

it means not always doing what I want to do when I want to do it.
or how I want to do it.
or even if I am able to do it.

and sometimes it even means that God can (and will) change the plan

and what do I teach my children when I don't bend to the potter as He molds the clay?
or when I fight against it?

Am I teachable?
Do I set the example?

what about you?
what if you followed God ALL the time?
not just when it's convenient for us to do so.....?

How would your life be different?
or even *gasp* change?

Freedom

2011-07-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

It isn't Free and it costs so many of us nothing at all.

But as America was founded....

the troops fought for freedom.

with little of no pay at all.

they fought because they believed in America.

Happy 4th of July.

something old...something new...something borrowed.... something blue

2011-06-13T23:35:00.000-07:00

Reading up about hands on homeschooling....

found a great article about unschooling here

but very much love the amazing person and the blog she has that this friend of mine shares about the Charlotte Mason Approach

I will reluctantly call it unschooling... but CM isnt really and truly unschooling.

It is teaching your children to love learning through parent directed learning.

so for now we are soaking up the mound of library books we came home with today, reading our Bibles, playing board games, and learning new stuff, gearing up for Kids Camp as well as remembering how to just enjoy learning again.

Lord,

I dont know exactly what I am doing. But I know You are leading our family in a new direction for the upcoming school year. Help me to be faithful to prayer and reading Your Word as you guide and direct our path. I thank you for revealing where we were lacking... and making us teachable. I thank you for the resources to research this change but more importantly the how to actually do this change. Forgive us for getting so distracted. Help up to rediscover the love for learning we once had.
in Jesus Name.

Amen

We need to talk....

2011-06-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

not exactly words I long to hear at 10:39 at night.

usually that means I have spent too much money on something
or not finished something that should have been completed days ago...
or I shrunk something I shouldnt have
or didnt get around to washing his socks

rarely are those words something I long for.

but tonight ....

I am still reeling after those words.

the past few years have been wrought with changes...
leaving the simplicity of the desert
dealing with my parents
deployments
not seeming to fit in

and homeschooling has had its ups and downs.

people telling me I am doing it all wrong...
trying to make everyone happy....
struggling to do it the way other people
(to include my husband)
think I should

but in that mess.
the Joy of it has been gone for a while

and he has noticed.

while dinner is on the table and the carpet gets vaccuumed.

something has been missing.

so tonight.... he said
"I dont know where to start, but I want to help you... I dont think we are headed in the right direction"
I almost didnt breathe.
what could he say next...
put the kids in public school?
I was feeling sick to my stomach.

"I think we need to reexamine how we are teaching the kids and find our joy again"
"we need to do some praying. and come back with the love of learning we used to have"

yes.
i totally agree.
now...
to figure out how.

We are STILL praying baby Zeke!

2011-06-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

Your mama is a brave woman. Braver than I think I could be. She told me today you are having a rough few days. That healing isn't coming as fast as she wishes it would. Friends... his platelet counts are very low, his blood pressure too low and even his oxygen saturation is too low. He is on a vent and still those O2 sats remain low..electrolytes are low too.....He has even has a blood transfusion. Tomorrow an EKG and echo are scheduled to check his heart function. They have started antibiotics for a possible bacterial infection. Pray!!!! God Knows the exact circumstances.

also pray for their other sweet boy (#6) baby Sam, He needs another surgery as this 11 month old 11 lb little guy has started to lose weight once again.

Pray for their 5 other blessings as they are bounced around and cared for by church friends as Shelly and Donald cope with the challenges with 2 hospitalized children. Pray for those trying to minister to the children and care for them in their parents abscence. And pray for Shelly & Donald... as they face this storm that they remember that God is in control.

PLEASE PRAY!!!!

if not me... who? if not now...when?

2011-06-02T23:24:00.000-07:00

please listen to the whole message. but if you are short on time at least the last 12 minutes.

great stuff!

Take time to remember

2011-05-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

Freedom isn't free.

Bringing baby starfish home

2011-05-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

I have a new friend at church. A special lady named Mary She and her husband have created an amazing blog as they adopt a baby from Uganda. Can you help them out?

... Please "like" or leave a comment on our posts on Earth Monkey Mom's page today. Whoever gets the most action gets free advertising on their blog for a week! We could REALLY use this since we had almost no fundraising action for quite a while now... Thank you! ♥

Or you can check out her fundraising site here

Help them bring baby starfish to his new home.

Read their blog. and share their story!

A mama's heart

2011-05-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

*****update 5/27/2011*****
Baby zeke made it through phase 1 of surgery today.
He was in surgery for over 8 hours, He has a ton of recovery left to do!
He will be sedated for the next two weeks which will hopefully give his little body time to recover and grow. KEEP PRAYING!
***************************

Meet my dear friends.

In this photo there are 7 baby blessings... but one you cant see.

During the pregnancy Shelly learned that baby "zeke" had a heart defect.

But she has trusted God and remains faithful.

On May 24 2011

little Ezekiel Caleb

*God strengthen's the heart*

was born.

His Aunt said, "He's tiny but feisty"

and at 3lbs 14 ozs

he arrived

7 weeks ahead of schedule.

so far he is stable.

but he has a long way to go.

And on Friday he will be having heart surgery.

His mama trusts God.

But her heart hurts.

She has barely even held this tiny blessing.

She earnestly wants to pray that the Lord's will is done

but

that is so very hard.

"Unless plans change, Ezekiel's surgery will be this Friday. We will move to PICU tomorrow, recover there then most likely return to NICU due to being early and his size. His heart defect is slightly different than they thought ...in laymens terms they have to reconstruct his broken heart. IN semi medical jargon--congenitally corrected transportation of the great arteries-aorta connected to r ventricle, pulmonary artery connected to the L ventricle. his L ventricle is connected to his R atrium &; his R ventricle (which is hypoplastic-too small) is connceted to his L atrium (this is backwards!). His mitral valve &; tricuspid valves are reversed. His tricuspid valve is stenotic (blocked, non functional) &; some word that meant misplaced, flaps the wrong way or something like that (sorry a bit overwhelmed). his aorta is hypoplastic (too small ascending &; descending) &; he has coarctation of the aorta (the way the aorta arches is wrong) he has a VSD (ventral septal defect)-a hole bw/ the lower chambers of his heart. he has patent foramen ovale (but that is due meds &; a good thing bcuz it keeps the blood flowing freely til surgery) he has experienced some hypertension &; apnea due meds -so he is on additional meds. he had some metabolic acidosis episodes as well. tpn (total parenteral nutrition--IV nutrition) may be started today. It is a total blessing that my ob was wise enough to administer betamethasone (steroid to mature lungs in utero). Zeke is still breathing on his own. (w/ heart kids the Oxygen/intubation can do harm as well as good). had kidney U/S, will have head U/S. results of those later"

As you can see she is a bit overwhelmed. So I am asking you all to join me in prayer. Her 11 month old is still itty bitty (Samuel 11 months old and 11lbs) missing chromosomes and has had a year filled with his very own medical issues. Pray for her husband Donald as he cares for him and the other 5 children. Pray for dear friends as they watch the older 5 children while their daddy travels back and forth to the hospital over 3 hours away from *home* (which is relative as they have no immediate family nearby because they are active duty military) AND takes care of baby Sammy.

baby Sammy Above
She has been unable to hold Ezekiel except for the moments right after he was first born.

She has asked us to pray that her children get to see Ezekiel before he goes to PICU before he goes to preop prep tomorrow. Pray for his heart surgery. That Jesus is the great physician and carefully uses the surgeons hands to knit his heart back together. Pray for the stress on the mama and the entire family. That they come together and remain faithful during this time of the storm. To remember that "God is in control in all things" (her words exactly) and that his "big" brother sammy continues to thrive and grow while she is away.
she sings this song to baby ezekiel. would you listen to it. pray for her and commit his little life to the Father... that he live to glorify God. That Shelly and Donald can rest in the Father's arms in an embrace filled with comfort, love and peace.

lookie lookie..we're all still here

2011-05-24T00:52:00.000-07:00

drop by here and check out this amazing post!!!!

I just love what this guy has to say!!!

Will You?

2011-05-16T23:39:00.000-07:00

a day not so long ago we met. 2 women - but very different paths.
her blue eyes pierced my heart.

I have 6 children that have been raised in and by the church, and while daddy has been away serving overseas he is still a very constant part of our family

she has a bunch of children, 5... I think. their daddy is away right now too. serving. but not in the military. these children more like orphans clinging to those people willing to invest in them but at the same time guarded.

We have a steady income. clothes on our back. a roof over our head. food in the cupboard.

she is on welfare. caught in a system. living in the worst section of town. her power was off for a week. they took cold showers. no heat. and her cupboards are bare.

my children still have a sense of wide eyed wonder about so much.

hers are hardened and have their innocence robbed by the world they exist in.

I have chosen a path even before Christ of the straight and narrow.

she struggles with addiction
and yet...

I am drawn to her and her children.
not because it's safe.

and its a messy, sticky and uncomfortable situation.
but
I am here. drawn into the heart of it.
I can see even where God would ask me

WILL YOU?

Will I what, Lord?
      be a friend?
         sure.
at first it was just at church.
   where for me it was "safe"

But is that really what God asks?

WILL YOU?

Will I what Lord?
       encourage your children to be friends with her children?
     really Lord?
          HE will protect them.
   HE will keep them safe.

But still that nagging

WILL YOU?

take it not one step further ... but way more.
   help her past the point of my comfort zone.
take the extra mile
not just offer a smile and a hug in passing.
will you go to her house.
be her friend...
   so if the opportunity arises...
you might be there to be a mentor...
   even to disciple her?

.................... but I am not worthy of that.
and to be honest it scares me.

and I hear the Lord remind me that He will be my strength...
He will be the teacher.
     He will be the redeemer...
He will rescue.
   He will save.
He can show her
all I have to do is have a willing and open heart and give HIM all the glory...
cuz... in my own strength
I am nothing.

climbing to new heights

2011-05-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

on saturday we practiced rock climbing

on Monday we did it.... for real

2011-05-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

I love the church we have found.

every week there are little shiny pebbles that are vivid reminded that this is where God has placed us.

just this afternoon I sat at lunch with a wonderful lady
who told me that they followed us to church last week
she said she told her son she was stalking us :)

I can't wait to get to know her better!

and the week before that met an energetic vivacious lady that introduced herself by telling me she had been stalking me ... our boys played together for the past few weeks and have really hit it off... only to find out she has other children with similar ages, and they homeschool.

teehee.

not in a creepy lock up your children sort of way.

but it's neat to see how the Lord is putting us right where we belong.

and we do feel like we belong.

just last week I got to sit with a young woman who leads a group of sophomore girls.
and I think to myself how amazing it is that God brought us here. now.

I can see for the past few years that our journey was not in vain. In fact each step required faith and growth. I can even clearly see the trials we endured and how they worked together for good.
And now I long to drop roots and be deeply planted.

I can see friendships forming.

I want to let the Son reflect in all I do.

and I thank God for those shiny spots in the streambed that he allows me to see.

2011-04-23T23:23:00.001-07:00

Resurrection Cookie Recipe

2011-04-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful recipe to share with the children. These cookies are made the evening before celebrating the Resurrection, and are cooked in a warm oven overnight so they will be ready on Easter morning.

You need to preheat the oven to 300 degrees (this is important--don't wait until you are half done with the recipe!)

3 egg whites

1 cup whole pecans

1 tsp. Vinegar

A pinch salt

1 cup sugar

A zipper baggie

A wooden spoon

tape

Bible

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. I let them go all out, and then Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.

Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child taste the vinegar ( you can ask them to smell it but it won't have the same impact). Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.

Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.

Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.

Read Luke 23:27.

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him.

Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.

Read Isa. 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.

Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.

Read Matt. 27:65-66.

GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.

Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Resurrection morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Resurrection, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.

Read Matt. 28:1-9

Jesus: Peter, Judas and the Easter Bunny

2011-04-18T23:40:00.000-07:00

The kids and I have been studying passover and how it correlates to the resurrection of Jesus the past few weeks. I think as Christians, it is important to remember the reasons why those old testament holidays were celebrated... it helps us to understand our christian heritage. After all, Jesus was a jew. He celebrated all the old festivals that are still celebrated today in Jewish culture. And while the jews were ordered to celebrate this feast forever as a rememberance...

And this day shall be unto you for a memorial, and ye shall keep it a feast to the ETERNAL; throughout your generations ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance for ever

A rememberance of where the Lord had brought the hebrew people from, how He had grace and mercy upon them and He protected them from all the plagues. They were to remember and pass it down from one generation to the next. And so, we spent some time this week...discussing the life of Moses, How the Lord used him, the 10 plagues and how they affected the Egyptian people and how they would have built up the hebrew people to prepare them for this great journey and free them from captivity.... and how they remember by learning the symbols of a traditional seder dinner and it's signifigance. As christians I do think these truths are important.

But tomorrow... we will discuss the resurrection.

and I think that so many aspects of Jesus's passover meal with his disciples bore so much signifigance in regards to his resurrection. I mean it was a typical passover, right?

Of course not! They had just watched Jesus blaze triumphantly into town days earlier in a way they had never seen. sure He drew crowds, but not crowds that acheived the celebrity status they did that week. People followed them everywhere. He was th coolest cat in town. The disciples were now in the in crowd. right?

John 12:13 Took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord.

But once they finish their passover meal something changes. Jesus takes off his robe, wraps it around him in the fashion of a servant and begins to wash His disciples feet. Can you imagine? The God of the universe bowing before you washing your feet? And back then roads werent paved, they were sandy and trodden by every man and beast alike. And one by one He kneels in front of each disciple washing their feet. and Peter looks at Him and says probably something I would have said

John 12:8(a)Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet.

and Jesus doesnt skip a beat...

John 12:8 (b) Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.

Arent we often too much like Peter?
I am.
I fnd at this time of year I often scoff at the pagan symbols rather than focus on the resurrected Christ. Jesus. Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Humbled himself at this point to wash the disciples feet. An act of love. an act of service. an act of humility that forshadowed the rest of that week.
And before Judas left his feet had been washed by Jesus.
An act of forgiveness.
I bet that was one object lesson that stuck with him as he betrayed his Lord.
That night I think Jesus took passover to a whole new level.

John 12:26-27Jesus answered, He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it. And when he had dipped the sop, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. And after the sop Satan entered into him. Then said Jesus unto him, That thou doest, do quickly

Then I think wow. I am not just like Peter. in a way I am like Judas too. I dont think I would sell out my Lord like he did... but don't I?
I mean.
There are clearly pagan symbols in Easter
Do I focus more on avoiding those symbols and bashing people that particapate in Easter egg hunts, and exactly which day the Resurrection falls on? Or do I even still practice some of those pagan in nature and word traditions? Or maybe the real question is.... does it even matter?

Do I think as Christians it is important to know the origins of the word Easter or even what the eggs & bunnies represent? yes. it is important to know what we honor should we choose to participate in sunch activities. But even the days of the week are named after pagan Gods. Does that mean I worship a Norse God on Tuesday? No. I simply name a day of the week. Likewise I think we get too hung up on exactly which Day Christ died. or Rose.

I think this is a holiday where it is widely accepted to attended a church service. But hearts are softened this time of year. God is AMAZING that way!

I guess what I am saying. Is whether we celebrate passover- teach it's signifigance to your children. It is part of your inheritance in Christ. But we are not jewish... we are grafted in- and I am so very glad of this! Remember... and read through those last days and hours leading up to the cross. Jesus extended grace and forgiveness knowing exactly what Judas went to do. Let's not get lke Peter, thinking we are too good and always remember we are saved by grace. Be a servant and extend invitations to lots and lots and lots of people whether or not you know them, or are evn comfortable doing so. And if... you made it through this long winded post... and you havnt been to church in a few weeks, a few months, a few years, a few decades.... or maybe not ever. This Resurrection Sunday. Get up a bit earlier and race to your nearest Bible believeing Christ honoring Church and celebrate the Resurrected Christ. Perhaps you too will find the tomb empty and your heart FULL!

A fork in the road

2011-04-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

so...

back in January if you had told me that I would still be out here on the coast...

instead of being moved into our new home in the desert

I probably would have called you crazy

actually people called me crazy for wanting to move back to the desert.

I almost wondered if I was

but,

we are not.

at least not now.

and for part of my heart,

there is an emptiness

an ache.

a longing to be there.

and yet.

here is where we remain.

We have found a great church

we are getting plugged in.

it almost , just maybe, could possibly be a good fit.

like an old pair of shoes.

not perfect.

but comfortable.

(if I ever find the perfect church I can't join it anyway.... I'd just mess it up)

so.... for now.

we will listen to that still small voice.

that leaves us here near the ocean

close to our land of milk and honey

and surfers, and days near the beach.

of balmy coastal breezes and

salty ocean air...

and see where that leads us.

I was so sure the opportunity in the desert was from God.

and perhaps it was just that.

a road...

to choose.

that small voice

says

but... what if you stay?

Diving in....

2011-03-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

One thing about me....

I tend to not walk to the waters edge and stick a toe in the water.

This time is no different...

I am diving in.

We have been burned . but God has put salve on our wounds

and scattered. but God has faithfully brought us where he wants us

thrown to wolves. but God has encamped around us and kept the wolves at bay

broken. but even in the brokenness as God puts the pieces back together the image is still beautiful.

and even though there are fears.

We are stepping back into another church,

putting our hearts out there

and we want to be the hands and feet of Jesus

so despite our ...

blows.

we are stepping back into the ring.

into serving.

into giving

into faithfulness.

into friendships

and fellowship

Lord.

in all that we do

may we do it for you

and glorify only you

Let others see in us

the Jesus we love and adore.

raw edges

2011-03-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

blogging is hard.

sometimes. opening up to the world that doesnt really know you and being painfully honest and real is a scary place. And yet. that is precisely what blogging is. When I dont know what to blog about... or the stuff is too difficult to share... I find I simply don't post.
but, thats not really what its about either.
I mean if I am real. you know I struggle with day to day things.
and yet, when is it crossing the line to blog about it?

Do I tell you that today my 6 yr old and 9 yr old just didnt want to do any schoolwork and were blatently disobedient, and instead of fighting with them we cleaned and organized the living room this afternoon?
Do I tell you that I never have uncomfortable discussions with my 16 yr old teenager about life?
Do I openly share that since my husband returned home from Afghanistan that life is rosy and without challenges?

Or do I tell you, that every morning as I stumble out of bed at least 20 minutes later than I planned to that I hit the ground running, forgetting far to often to cover my day in prayer. I head downstairs and get the kids breakfast only to find one or two of them glued to the tv without permission. That I spend the next hour chasing my tail, praying for just a moment to soak up a morsel of God's word. That when I finally do sit down it is often to the groanings of children less than compliant to do their daily math drills. That I stress over the little things, especially in the moments just before my husband will be walking thru the door... and that even marriage has uncomfortable quiet awkward moments these days where love is a choice... a promise... a forever and always... that we honor... but doesnt always come easy. That I spend moments throughout the day stealing moments of prayer, or reading a short passage... crumbs to get through the day. That sometimes dinner is late, and the kids don't like what I have made... and then its off to baths and sleepy tired eyes that won't sleep because ... there are always other things to do than be in bed on time. Do I tell you I lost my cool when my teenager talked back and later sat down and apologized as we worked it out later rather than sooner the way God would have wanted us to.... or that every night I have snuggled in bed beside my husband cherishing every single moment since he returned or be real and tell you thats when I blog or edit photos or spend some real time in the Word.

Things around here are real. if you can handle our life, I hope to get back to just giving God the glory for our day to day, and commit it all to Him. I am so thankful that I have a Jesus who loves me despite all my shortcomings, but at the end of the day, as well as every moment throughout it my heart wants to follow.... and it's not easy.

but its a choice... I will choose

Silence

2011-03-17T23:19:00.000-07:00

is sorting through things

putting things back together after they have been apart

finding the changes

and learning how to adapt

and overcome.

silence.

is not knowing what to say

in the midst of change

silence is sometimes

fear.

and this life is anything but

silent

but in the chaos

there have been no words that felt worth sharing.

soon.

I hope this season of silence

will end

What if - Jadon Lavik (FULL SONG & Lyrics)

2011-02-28T00:20:00.000-08:00

Homecoming

2011-02-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

We baked bread. and waited.

we took naps.... and waited.

We killed time.... and waited

then we headed to the place...

where these guys stood and saluted them

and with anticipation

stood with our banners

in the rain.... waiting

patiently

or maybe a bit impatiently

and then they arrived

and we found

amidst the crowd

our Marine

renuited

with us again

so we packed him up....

and brought him home

2011-02-14T07:39:00.000-08:00

We love Him because He 1st loved us

1 John 4:19

and I am so thankful to be loved today

because knowing that eases the missing the one we love.

Happy Valentine's Day

Celebrate with the one you love and Rejoice over the One that adores you

This morning...

2011-02-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

I woke up and realized its Friday...

this week we have mopped floors a little bit extra,
     stopped at Seaworld...
            finished up weekly lessons....

and realized.

by this time next week
               we won't be doing it alone.

and while I still don't have *dates*

and I most certainly don't ask for a flight plan

    it is soon.

     I think.

and once he is home.

      well

         the deployment will be over.

sweet sleepy boy

2011-02-07T23:35:00.000-08:00

Calculated Risks

2011-01-31T17:03:00.000-08:00

I am so SURE the move to the desert is the right thing to do....
then week after week
I attend NewSong Community Church
and I question it.
It's not a deep feeling of "this is where I belong"
but more of a "what if?"

Sometimes it feels like my life is a series of calculated risks....

mostly in relation to how hurt I will get when it is time to move again.

and what if we move in April and this *is* where we are supposed to be?

How will we know... for certain?

I suppose I am waiting on my husband's homecoming for final decisions.
but just this week the conversation went someting like this...

Kiah " I can't wait to move to the desert when daddy get's home"
me "um, Ki... you DO understand Daddy will not be moving to the desert with us for at least another year"
at this point Kiah is almost crying
me "he'll be home on the weekends though"
Kiah "maybe we shouldnt move, I dont want to be without daddy again"

for me it was heartbreaking.

I am trusting that The Lord will CLEARLY mark which path HE wants for us.

please keep us in prayer
especially as we sort through this muddle of emotions

because at the same time, my kids long to be back in the desert...
although I will miss life here in oceanside something fierce...
I cry every time I leave there...
for some reason my heart is tied to that place...

and yet...

I find myself ask "what if?"

I don't count the days

2011-01-29T12:41:00.000-08:00

deployment.

I didn't try to count the days til he left.

I didn't count the days once he left.
well.
not all the time.

I mean 30 days after he was gone, at some point on that day I remember thinking to myself...
"we survived the first month"

I couldnt bring myself to try to even really determine a halfway mark...

so at Christmas when he said we have passed that....
it was a blessing.

and now...

it is almost the month he will come home.
almost 6 weeks earlier than originally planned.
and I am counting our blessings.

we are keeping busy
making paper chains
and banners to celebrate his homecoming...
which is soon...
but not too soon.

and I am really trying not to count.
because the days could change.
but it is a season of excitement
and preparing
for being together
again.

and the world will feel complete again.

challah bread

2011-01-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

What you need...

(we multiplied x5)

a pinch of salt

2 Tbsp oil

2 Tbsp sugar

5/8 C. lukewarm water

1 Tbsp yeast

1 egg plus 1 egg yolk

2 1/2 C flour

poppy seeds

large bowl

spoon

cookie sheet

cloth to cover loaf

pastry brush

First combine the sugar, salt, oil and lukewarm water.

Make sure the water is not too hot or it will kill the yeast

add the yeast,

stir once and

watch it grow for about 5 minutes

crack the egg into a seperate bowl

add to mixture.

add flour

blend with your hands until dough is a dough ball

add water to moisten if necessary

or flour to thicken

knead the dough once a dough ball for about 5 minutes

lightly oil the bowl and place the dough in it

cover with a damp cloth

(we used press n seal)

put it in a warm spot until it doubles in size

(about an hour and a half)

punch down the dough and let it rise again for about an hour

once dough rises again divide into 4 long strips.

pinch the pieces at the top together

starting on the left weave the bread strips

in an over

under

over

pattern

until the loaf is completely braided

and pinch the ends together.

place on cookie sheet & let rise for 45minutes

paint egg yolk on uncooked bread with a pastry brush

sprinkle with poppy seeds as desired

bake at 350 for 20-24 minutes

bread should be golden brown and sound hollow when you tap it.

enjoy!

Making bread is a science. It has a protein called gluten that makes the dough elastic. kneading is important because it causes 2 proteins in flour (gliadin and glutenin) to join together and form gluten. gluten is useful because the elasticity of the dough will expand because the yeast forms tiny bubbles of carbon dioxide gas. you should end up with a light loaf of bread rather than a rock hard lump!

Sweet 16

2011-01-18T00:05:00.000-08:00

16 years ago today I became a mom

and the little girl God gave us

is turning into an amazing young lady.

Happy Birthday Sweet girl

2011-01-15T22:31:00.000-08:00

No matter how much I have wanted to I stil don't fir here.

the puzzle piece that just doesnt belong.

and while it is AMAZINGLY beautiful

and I love it very much

being that piece of the puzzle that doesnt fit

hurts.

and I will miss the splendor of a coastal sunset

I will not be far away

and will return to soak in the amazing beauty here

But no matter how much I deny it

my heart is drawn here

to the majesty of the desert skies

the place where that puzle piece doesnt just fit

but fits so snugly that I feel a sense of

belonging.

in a place that is strange to belong.

soon... we will go back

to where the skies stretch on for miles

and the pinks, and blues of the desert sunsets

collide with the stars.

where we belong

2011-01-05T23:49:00.000-08:00

For the last two years we have driven to the desert for the first of the year, and as a friend graciously opened her home to our crazy little crew, little did I know what kind of changes would be taking place in my life...

we have decided to move back to the desert.

Son Reigns Ranch is gone. we are not returning to what was.

I must have been asked a dozen times this week, if I am leaving this sunny beachy paradise ON PURPOSE to return to the desert.

Truth is I LOVE it here.
I do.
I love the ocean breezes.
the smell of the air.
the ambience of the wharf.
the convience of city life.
the relatively short distance to everything.
the fact that there are so many educational opportunities.
the beach.
the sunsets.

BUT

every.single.time. I drive to the desert I just feel like I am going home.
I mostly love the people there.
the people that became our friends and family.
I love the simpleness.
the smell of a creosote bush just before it rains.
the sounds of coyotes.
the quial running across the highway.
I love the joshua trees, each one different and unique... a piece of God's amazing masterpiece.
I love the horses and the lifestyle, even if it is harder.
I love the golden pink sunsets.
but mostly I miss my desert friends.

It was where we fit. like that puzzlepiece that just is part of the puzzle.
I cry every time I leave.
and I dont cry.
but I do when I leave the desert.

so.
it appears God is a God of second chances
(which I know but often need a reminder)
and we are being presented with an opportunity to buy a micro ranch on 1.25 acres out there again.
and we are excited.
in fact I have already started packing!

Once my guy gets back from the sandy spot, the kids and I will move back up there and he will come home on weekends. there will be a lot of moving parts... but it is doable. and I am quite excited.

I will miss the ocean.
a lot.
but having my dear friends (who are really more like family) will be more than worth it!

Desert Dreams

2011-01-05T00:32:00.000-08:00

This free digital slideshow customized with Smilebox

So much change is coming our way, but for now just look at a few glimpses from the amazing week we have had with our desert family....

Anything but tradional

2010-12-26T23:19:00.000-08:00

This years Christmas was like no other.

different.
yet.
fun.
and.
at the same time...
bittersweet.

Christmas eve began at Church.
Celebrating the baby in a manger,
the birth of a Saviour.
that is the central focus of this Holiday we call Christmas.

then dinner at a local diner.

and a off to see Tangled
which was shown at a local movie theatre for free
(along with any movie they show)
on CHristmas eve,
to local military men and women and their familes.
It was fun!
but different.

just another way to keep our minds off the fact that daddy wasn't here this year.

then a fun surprise.
LEGOLAND!
They sold an internet special for $9.99 per person

so instead of waking up and unwrapping presents...
we walked right by them
and scurried out the door...

for a Christmas Day adventure!

What a wonderful day!

we were pilots
and heroes
and explorers
and tourists
we were pirates
and knights
and maidens.
We were shark bait!
and builders
and dinosaur explorers.
we were put in jail...
and ate pizza for lunch.

except.
we were missing him.

but with our paid admission we get to return and take him when he comes home.
it was a good day.
a good distraction.

then as we came home we came home to the smell of bragiolle, and pasta, and artichoke casserole wafting as we entered our doors. Grandma had prepared Christmas dinner.

so hungry children gathered round the table and enjoyed Grandmas dinner.

but our day was still not over.

off to the living room with excited eyes as they waited to open presents.
3 hours of delight
and laughter
and treasures
and smiles
and paper shredding.

late into the evening....

and as I snuggled into bed with the baby boy I heard from down the hallway excited chatter about the days events.

and we missed him.

but even though it was anything but traditional.
we survived Christmas
and look forward to a day when we wont have to be apart.

but it was a good day.

the night before a night or two before Christmas

2010-12-22T02:48:00.000-08:00

As I was sitting wrapping gifts for my children for Christmas this poem I once read popped into my head.

Twas the night before Jesus came and all throught the house

Not a creature was praying not one in the house

Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care

In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed

Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.

And mom in her rocker with baby on her lap

Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the east there arose such a clatter

I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here

With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray

I knew in a moment this must be the day.

The light of His face made me cover my head

It was Jesus, returning just like he said

And though I possesed worldly wisdom and wealth

I cried when I saw Him, in spite of myself.

In The Book Of Life which He held in His hand

Was written the name of every saved man

He spoke not a word as he searched for my name

When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose name had been written in love

He gathered to take to His Father above

With those who are ready He rose with out a sound

While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees but it was too late

I had waited too long and this sealed my fate

I stood and cried as they rose out of sight

Oh, if I had only been ready tonight.

In the words of the meaning is clear.

The coming of Jesus is drawing near.

There's only one life and when comes the last call

We'll find that the Bible was true after all.

Thank you Lord, Help me to remember what this season is truely about. Let me not grow weary from meaningless things that will one day pass away, help me to teach my children to Love You with all their heart. Lord. Help me.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours

2010-12-13T00:14:00.000-08:00

My photography blog

2010-12-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

hop on over and check out my new blog...

this one will still be here...

but the new one is for my photography endeavors...

let me know what you think.

I just set it up - and I will be tweaking it...

the boys have been elfed

2010-12-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

What is a church anyway?

2010-11-30T23:43:00.000-08:00

Out here in Cali... esp out here near the beach we have had a challenge.
FInding a church where we "fit"
that missing puzzle piece where we belong.
and it isnt an easy process.
much like finding that ever elusive needle in a haystack
and it should be so simple.
and if the church is the people why is it so hard for us to fit?
I have considered over and over that the problem is me.
and perhaps it is.
but
I am considering putting out an ad:

In search of the perfect church [for my family]. looking for a bible teaching, Bible believing fearless group of people that loves God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loves each other despite our differences. A group of people that can go to the Bible and agree on the doctrines, and wade through the teaching together- even if it gets uncomfortable. A group of people that is my earthly family- and we love each other even when we are unlovable, a support system that cares for each other through the dark times, an ear to listen on a lonely day, a sister or brother, or aunt or uncle to my kids- an accountibility partner to hold me up to keeping my word, a place to serve faithfully and be served (when necessary), a place to come even if it means the truth is spoken in love, a place where people dont turn their back on you and walk away

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’
teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread
and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul,
and many wonders and signs were being done.
Acts 2:42–43

Do you have a church like that on this earth? If you do, you are blessed.
Pray for us as we continue the journey... pray our roots dont wither, our flowers don't fade...and we find joy in the journey

Thankfulness

2010-11-24T22:47:00.000-08:00

We have so much to be thankful for. I am trying to not look at the negatives. Hope you count your blessings today and every day. With the help of the Lord and Him as my strength, I hope to see my blessings throughout this thanksgiving rather than get down about the things that are not.

falling leaves

2010-11-15T23:17:00.000-08:00

my life is a bit of a mess. and i am doing my best to sort it all out. and while my leaves may be scattered, my roots are *thankfully* firmly planted in knowing the my Lord is in charge of it all.
every. single. detail.
nothing is here that He hasnt allowed.
and despite my circumstances
I will choose to praise Him.

shattered trust

2010-11-10T21:59:00.001-08:00

in His time there will be something beautiful out of this.
refined in the fire.
again.
still.
feel like I am broken glass
Thankful that My Saviour is sheltering me in His precious arms.

Birthdays times two

2010-11-03T00:31:00.000-07:00

Normally when you have multiple birthdays on the same day you have twins, but not at our house. 11 years ago today my oldest son was born on my husbands birthday. And usually we alternate years of who gets to choose what to do.... and its my husbands year to pick.... but he is on the other side of the world *hopefully* enjoying some yummy coffee that we sent him in honor of his special day....
but we are gonna celebrate two of my favorite boys!

Happy Fall Y'all

2010-11-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

button cute.

maybe its pumpkin cute!

and we didnt buy a single one...

but oh, the photo ops ;)

but I do have to say, it IS a little strange going to a nut farm , traipsing thru pumpkin fields without colored leaves and as you look up there are palm tree...

well I suppose this is fall in SoCal

and I do love those beautiful days!

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

2010-10-27T00:12:00.000-07:00

Today he is 1.

amazing.

I truely dont know where time went.

my sweet baby boy.

Happy Birthday little one.

Put in my place

2010-10-25T22:45:00.000-07:00

tonight I drove a woman "home" that I went to church with for the last year.

She was at the new church's ladies Bible Study.

I didn't even know her name.

she is homeless.

she sleeps at the bus stop near the church we recently left.

and until today I didn't even know her name.

how horrible of me.

Lord,
watch over Dena - give her a place to go. Show me how I can be a friend to her. Thank you for giving me eyes to see.
~in Jesus name.
Amen

Turning it Over

2010-10-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

I may have mentioned before I don't trust easily.

Over the summer we found ourselves wondering why we felt like the puzzle piece that didn't fit... and after meeting with the pastor and weeks of prayer we began a journey - looking for a new church. I was torn. On one side -the church was familiar. The kids seemed to "fit". We were greeted with handshakes and warm smiles. The teaching was rock solid.So what could be wrong?

We searched our hearts. Prayed. Thought about ways that we should grow where we had been planted... that going church shopping just didn't make any sense. Maybe, it WAS us. Maybe we were out of God's will. I began to question so much. We tried 3 churches in a whirlwind of the 6 weeks before the deployment.

And landed somewhere huge.

It's a good church. But starting over ...especially through a deployment is hard. I am standing on the promise that God is not the author of confusion 1Corinthians 14:33

and I am discovering my trust is shot.

and emotionally I am hurt.

and in order to step back in I have to have blind faith.

We are faithfully attending. The kids are invlved in the weekly Bible club. I am attending the womens Bible study... but the more I go the more I am beginning to see I am hlding everyone at arms length. I am not really letting anyone in...
my heart has to reopen and become vulnerable.

and I just don't know if I am ready for that.

Lord,
I give it all to you. take my heart and show me how to love and trust again the way you want me to. Direct my path, make it simple to see the joy again. Take me back to my First Love. Show me where you would have me to serve and help me to be genuine, real and to not guard my heart because ultimately you are the one protecting me. In Jesus name.
Amen

blogging blahs

2010-10-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

I am most definately in a slump.

I don't mean in life.
but in writing.

Its not that there is nothing to talk about...

I just wonder if it is worth talking about.

I mean, some of it is real life...
BUT
if it isn't good should I blog about it?
Which raises questions...

lots and lots of them.

and still leaves me a bit befuddled.

be patient..if you're still out there.