Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Today he is 1.

amazing.

I truely dont know where time went.

my sweet baby boy.

Happy Birthday little one.

Put in my place

tonight I drove a woman "home" that I went to church with for the last year.

She was at the new church's ladies Bible Study.

I didn't even know her name.

she is homeless.

she sleeps at the bus stop near the church we recently left.

and until today I didn't even know her name.

how horrible of me.

Lord,
watch over Dena - give her a place to go. Show me how I can be a friend to her. Thank you for giving me eyes to see.
~in Jesus name.
Amen

Turning it Over

I may have mentioned before I don't trust easily.

Over the summer we found ourselves wondering why we felt like the puzzle piece that didn't fit... and after meeting with the pastor and weeks of prayer we began a journey - looking for a new church. I was torn. On one side -the church was familiar. The kids seemed to "fit". We were greeted with handshakes and warm smiles. The teaching was rock solid.So what could be wrong?

We searched our hearts. Prayed. Thought about ways that we should grow where we had been planted... that going church shopping just didn't make any sense. Maybe, it WAS us. Maybe we were out of God's will. I began to question so much. We tried 3 churches in a whirlwind of the 6 weeks before the deployment.

And landed somewhere huge.

It's a good church. But starting over ...especially through a deployment is hard. I am standing on the promise that God is not the author of confusion 1Corinthians 14:33

and I am discovering my trust is shot.

and emotionally I am hurt.

and in order to step back in I have to have blind faith.

We are faithfully attending. The kids are invlved in the weekly Bible club. I am attending the womens Bible study... but the more I go the more I am beginning to see I am hlding everyone at arms length. I am not really letting anyone in...
my heart has to reopen and become vulnerable.

and I just don't know if I am ready for that.

Lord,
I give it all to you. take my heart and show me how to love and trust again the way you want me to. Direct my path, make it simple to see the joy again. Take me back to my First Love. Show me where you would have me to serve and help me to be genuine, real and to not guard my heart because ultimately you are the one protecting me. In Jesus name.
Amen

blogging blahs

I am most definately in a slump.

I don't mean in life.
but in writing.

Its not that there is nothing to talk about...

I just wonder if it is worth talking about.

I mean, some of it is real life...
BUT
if it isn't good should I blog about it?
Which raises questions...

lots and lots of them.

and still leaves me a bit befuddled.

be patient..if you're still out there.

Happy Birthday take 2

My son and my daughter were born a day apart, so its another day of birthday celebration around here.... and wishin there was a daddy here to celebrate these special days with us.

Happy Birthday

My Sweet Micah boy, my littlest babe.... my little peanut. I cannot believe today you are 9 years old. You were my miracle babe. Happy Birthday....