Friday, September 25, 2009

MOVING time again....

The packers will be here first thing Monday morning... and again Tuesday to load our house on a truck.... we pick up our keys at base housing on Tuesday morning... and have it all delievered on Wednesday. Thursday the kids and I will be busy unpacking as much as we can... and Friday afternoon I head to the airport to pick up my parents.... all the while I am now on bedrest ...yeah ok. well as much as can be possible during a major move. so we will be offline a few days, other than checking in on my phone (which will still have internet access) hooray! Have a great week! And I'll try to post once we are a little organized at the house...

for now though, you're more likely to see me on facebook for the next week than here!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Let the Brown Leaves Fall...

Whether I like it or not, summer will end soon, as as it does another season changing will begin- in our lives - as well as in the weather. My parents are out of insurance. This week my dad's former employer informed me that his FMLA expired and the company as of Friday would no longer carry my dad's insurance.

And since I have been praying for doors to either close in front of us or open wide that we would know God's will as we made each decision... well, it certainly made buying the tickets easier.

Dad's cancer is spreading. VERY quickly. Praying for more time at this point - just to get them here. But not knowing what our future holds regarding their arrival. The doctors are saying "at the very very best" you may have 3 months. But currently - despite what is happening on the inside of him- he is still walking, and still fighting. He hasnt given up.

So On that note, once we get moved- 2 days later my parents will arrive to live with us personally. I need to get a hospital bed (cheap!) and probably a walker and a wheelchair. WE will be amidst a myriad of boxes, unpacking..and what seems to be... life as a military family. A life my parents have never really known, but I am certain they will get a VERY quick initiation.

As far as homeschooling the children. We plan to do just that. Many people have called me crazy for even considering it. BUT we will be temporarily changing our approach, much like yet another changing season. I am an avid KONOS mom. And we have continues with a modifies KONOS approach even with all the moves, but KONOS is mom labor intensive, and we are taking a season away from this wonderful way of learning. I have been praying about what avenue to take. We have tossed around the idea of a full Switched on Schoolhouse approach, but don't have the number of computers we need ( with the right processing speeds for the program) to effectively pull that off, we have discussed paces (School of Tomorrow) so the kids can do self paced work and simply continue moving ahead as the changes blow in, but after much prayer and weeding through my bookshelves before a move we are going to try a more frugal approach.

I have made copies of many of stuff I had on the shelf yesterday ( and will finish hopefully today) and put pages in their notebooks. For history Micah will be using Dover coloring books to learn about the life of Abraham Lincoln, Justyn will be reading an Abeka textbook and doing his history more conventionally, and Arianna will be reading the Light and the Glory (for adults) and writing about what she reads, for Science Micah will be studying nutrition and hygeine, where Justyn will be learning about the planets and the scientists who discovered them, And Arianna will be using a 10th grade ABeka Book in Biology... and for someone who doesnt use a lot of textbooks ( for more than anything as a reference point) this will be a big change. But it means we can continue school despite a baby's arrival, despite the changes that come with moving my parents in, and for now it is a trial period for a season. I plan to try this through Christmas, at which point we will decide whether we can go back to more of a KONOS approach or whether we should continue this path.

pray for us as the winds of change are blowing in with Autumn,

Friday, September 18, 2009

pebbles in my pocket

Yesterday I was reminded of a story my pastor in NC used to share....

when we have troubles in our life, they are very much like pebbles in our pocket, as we come to the Altar we need to lay our pebbles down, problem is often times we have grown so accustomed to how those pebbles feel in our pocket, we are so reluctant to leave them all behind that we pick one or two back up as we walk away from the alter instead of leaving them at the feet of Jesus.

My life at the moment is full of pebbles (Frank says they are boulders)

The size of the rock however is not what matters. What matters is whether or not when I lay the trouble, burden, load at the feet of I truely leave it there? Or have I grown so accustomed to how the rock feels in my pocket that I slip it back in my pocket as I leave the alter?

Monday, September 14, 2009

moving again....

well, last week it was official. We will be moving into base housing here! ANd while I never thought I would be excited to announce another move I am.

I can see how God took care of us by bringing us to live in the apartment for the last 6 months, but I can also see His timing is perfect. There have been many challenges with the apartment complex: the boys bikes getting stolen the first few days we arrived, countless parties, not obeying curfew hours, having the pool closed since June 15th, having bb's shot at us while we are grilling, boys stalking my daughter as she walks the dogs, known gang activity, and neighbors that like to watch my children in what feels like a very unhealthy way, just to name a few. But God's hand has protected us during our time here despite our trials.

We pick up our keys to base housing on the 29th of Sept :)

and our household will be packed up sept 28-29 and then delivered on the 30th.

I am just hoping the little baby boy inside my belly hangs on and waits til AFTER the move to make his grand appearance.

Still lots to do to prepare for a move, but here are some things I am certainly looking forward to: less traffic noise, people who actually obey the rules, not smelling all the smoke from all my neighbors houses from the courtyard, feeling like my daughter can walk the dogs safely, a safer environment for all the children, my own washer and dryer back inside the house(no coin operarted machines), about 500 more sq ft of space AND a garage, much much closer to the beach, and so much more!

As far as my parents moving, I simply need to remember the God knows the details, I will simply keep praying and try to remember that God is in control of it all. Dr's should be calling and discussing the move details with me this week- my parents should be getting a full picture of the spreading of dad's cancer late tomorrow afternoon.

and keep breathing...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

it's the little things that drive me crazy

as I checked my email this morning, I had a lovely message...

my dad had tried to hack into my AT&T account to apparently "check the balance" except he had almost successfully changed my password, at least to the point where I couldn't access my accounts.

now back in July I bought my parents phones and put them on my plan.... and they are not supposed to be paying for any of it, but how do I explain this to them. This is actually the 2nd time my dad has done this since he got the phone....

any ideas?

the account is resecured, and I have access to it again- but this is crazy stuff!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dad's cancer is spreading

DOn't know a lot of details... yet.

waiting for calls from the dr's

additional CT scans have been ordered. so far we know the cancer has spread into both lungs now, that there are 5 pollups on his liver (which would explain his lack of appetite), and that he is having severe pain in his tailbones. so...

now we wait for additional tests and calls from the dr to find out

1. if he is even well enough to travel to CA
2. if not what are our other options?
3. what happens to my mom if the house if forclosed upon and she does remain behind in NC?

feeling like my hands are very tied from 3000 miles away. They have sold bunches of stuff BUT they need that money to move out here. and if they use it to remain behind there wont even be enough money to bury my dad when the time comes.

my prayer is that God shows us each and every step clearly.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Season God Prepares us For....

funny how God creates a message entirely just for you and sends it through the pastor... and that was the crux of my morning.

After enjoying a breakfast fellowship in Sunday School, a great lesson, wonderful worship - as God's Word was opened to Galatians 6:1-4

"1Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 2Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 3For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. 4But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

As the pastor was teaching, words my mom said to me just last night resonated in my ears.... " jen, this is going to be such a burden to you all" to which I replied "mom, we want to help, let us share your burden with you"

life is filled with change right now, lots of uncertainty, but one thing is certain. Jesus is in control of it all. I creid theough the invitation knowing that the trail we have faced in the last 12 months were in preparation of the things to come. To give us a starting point in which to minister to my parents during this very uncertain and frightening season in their lives. I cannot imagine walking through seasons in my life without Christ at the center, and yet, that is precisely what they are doing. If my dad did accept Christ a few weeks ago like he told me the other day, then he is just an infant in his walk with Christ. Pray for my mom, this move has filled her with much bitterness and a desire to be far from the Lord.

Each day I just keep walking forward, I pray CHrist can use our family as a beacon of light in my parents life throughout it all.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

moving, my dad, homeschooling my children and other complicated issues....

the thought of "what would you do for a klondike bar" came to my head as it started pounding this morning. Not that I particularly even eat that kind of ice cream bar, just that my head had started pounding with all the complications of the day....

last week we received unofficial news that we should have a slot in base housing in the very near future. problem is, that offer is not on paper, and without paperwork doesnt completely exist. last week I had mentioned it to my dad who, jokingly said, now we can come live with you in California- a commitment I had tried to get them to make in July when they adamantly refused. joke is- we changed housing lists in August from a list for a 5 bedroom to a list in a 4 bedroom BECAUSE my parents refused to come. so over the weekend , apparently they discussed it among themselves and decided to move in with Frank and I. so we were "notified" that they have about 45 days until their house will be foreclosed upon- at which point they want to move in with us. That concerns me as it is days away from when the baby is actually due to arrive... so I told them if they plan to move they have about 30 days to get things sold and move out here.

then there is the issue of their pets. Moving into base housing we are alloved 2 pet. and no more. My family has lost so much this year. All we have left is 2 dogs. the horses, cats, goats, ducks, chickens geese are all gone. The sting of that, while fading, is still fresh when the subject of finding a home for our dogs came up. My mom wants to bring her mini-poodle. He is not up to date on his shots, needs health certificates to travel, a new crate and plane fare- none of which I have cash on hand to do. so what do you tell your mom n dad who are leaving everything they have known for the last 12 years behind, including a large portion of their independance, to come and live with you. The poodle is cute and has a great dispostion with adults. He has never been exposed to children of any age... and I will have 6 children. A dog who may not like one or all of them, in my life, is simply not an option.

Then there are issues like medical coverage. We discovered today that while my dad's previous employer has been taking care of his insurance premiums and has agreed to do so until his medicaid is approved - uses an insurace company that is inclusive to NC. Because both my parents have pre-existing cancer conditions finding a company that will carry insurance for them month to month is simply not affordable. And while I can sign them up for medicaid/ mediCal out here we will be starting that lengthy process from the beginning again. I have found a local clinic where they can go to been seen and get prescriptions BUT it is certainly questionable whether or not my dad will be able to continue any type of treatment out here until/unless he gets on medicaid- which is a 3+ month process.

I am overwhelmed. The thought of having a baby very soon, moving, moving my parents to CA, continuing to homeschool, are wearing on me. I have many doubts if I can do it all... and wondering if I can't what are my options. I do believe we as a family are called by God to continue homeschooling. I believe that more today than I did the day we began. I am scared however that somehow I will fail in one or all of these areas, or fail my parents or fail my children.

To top it all off Frank works a full marine corps week and then is enrolled in college. It is hard. I am not looking for easy, I am just praying that the Lord will direct our steps each and every step of this journey.

I am bringing my dad to CA to care for him as he dies. And while it could give the children an opportunity to know a man they barely know, is it fair to ask them to continue to homeschool and share their life with their grandma and grandpa- or do I offer a choice....send the ones that want to to public school on base- and pray for their days. I dont know the answers. In my heart i do not feel like we are supposed to stop homeschooling.

Please pray for us.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

tails: California

well to say the very least it has been an interesting week.

my parents are moving to CA to live with us. Details are still shady but I am counting on the fact that God will take care of all the details.

please pray for this transition in all of our lives