Friday, January 30, 2009

our mistakes & choices

I have realized today that no matter what decisions are made someone will be hurt by them.

I talked to my dad today and explained the way the orders were given, lets just say it didn't go so well.

Here's the rest of the story (for those of you who have not yet heard it)

Frank went to go see the monitor (this is the guy who decides when & where you are going in the USMC) last Monday- just to sit down & talk face to face- and the monitor said to my husband.."you're moving". My husband began to explain why we could not, but the monitor doesn't care, he is just there with a job to do. He offered him camp LeJeune and Frank said he couldn't, the monitor then offered him Camp Pendelton. Oceanside. I know Frank was thinking this was closer, he could come home on weekends.... but as we are slowly learning that is probably not the case. not at all.

The cost of living down in Oceanside is such that we might be lucky to have him come home once a month. All the while leaving us in this desert cabin - alone- with all the dangers of the desert and him over 3 hours away.

Some of you have asked if we could rent out the house. Let me explain the mistakes we make just about 3 years ago. We bought a desert cabin, certainly a fixer upper. We have not been doing as much fixer-uppering as we would have liked because well things have gone wrong with this house (like it needed a completely new septic system to the tune of $9000 2 yrs ago) as well as many others. At the time the house was purchased (a now regretted decision) the housing market in CA was at a high prime. Which basically means we bought it for far more than it is actually worth today. In fact, it's depreciation is probably around $100,000. So can we rent it out? Certainly not for it's monthly mortgage payment- and without eating the cost there are few choices.

As far as making the right choices. Neither Frank or I know what those are yet, and even when we do make choices we are hoping they are not choices we regret later. As of right now I am beginning to look for homes for all of the animals- well, almost all. For you that think he will hold onto this house for the horses. You are wrong. We will cry and have our hearts ripped out once again because we made the wrong choices...yet again.

I am ranging from a flurry of emotions. All our family is back on the east coast. we have parents that are not getting any younger and children that haven't even met family members. To say that I don't wish he had chosen differently for many reasons would be a lie, and yet we will remain on the west...for how long? I don't know. Sometimes I am angry or bitter (which I know is wrong) other times I completely understand the decision he made and for what reasons, and still other times I am afraid of running this ranch alone, having things break and not being able to afford to fix them, and not being able to see my husband even though he will only be a few hours away. It's almost more frustrating he will be here so close...and I will not be able to see him.

So if you know of anyone in need of a horse send them my way. I am broken and do not have any answers. I feel very alone in this process. Please pray that the Lord would lead, guide, and direct our paths. That we would do His will not our own, and that somehow, once again we are refined by the fire.


Monday, January 26, 2009

Winds of change are coming

“ I have some good news and some bad news… I’ll tell you when I get home.”

Those were the words my husband spoke to me tonight just before he left work and headed home. The last time he spoke those words he had orders.

He has orders.

This time though, it’s different. He turned down orders to NC. For many reasons but mostly because we own this house. And we bought it 3 years ago for far more than it is worth today. And selling it in the current market certainly won’t happen.

He took orders in Oceanside. He will be a geobachelor, a weekend dad, traveling back and forth from home to work. He will- once again- be deployable.

He needs a new car. A computer. Probably countless other things I am not thinking of.

The kids and I took it hard. And then I remind myself we will still see him on weekends. Unless. He deploys. And we have been through that too. And even survived. And I am reminded of words I have spoken to so many going through a trial, or a deployment, or a discouraging time… NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS GOD. IS.IN.CONROL.

So for now we hold onto hope. Cling to our church family. Trust that the times when we are alone Jesus himself will hold us in His arms. Paint the house. Complete the kitchen and the floors and the list goes on. We will keep busy. We are a Marine Corps family. We are stronger than we think, and braver than we believe… and…

No matter what happens God IS in CONTROL.

(someone may need to remind me of this in the coming weeks, months and years)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

January Ranch happenings

Our rustic table and benches project over Christmas break is almost done. It is designed by frank and put together with a little help from every able hand. It has been washed with a sage wash and ploy'd. it could stand a few more coats but it is in the house and being used.

The bench test run
The almost finished table.
However that extra coat or two of poly may have to wait a week for warmer weatherMicah finally lost his very 1st tooth!
Only in CA can you do schoolwork outside in 60+ degree weather
while the rest of the country is in a deep freeze
and from the back of a dump truck to boot!
There are a bunch more photos but its late. We will update again soon!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The BIG 14

Today was Arianna's 14th birthday. I remember the day she was born. We were sinner's in need of a Saviour and had no clue- and 14 years later she is a beautiful young woman seeking after God. Something I certainly didn't deserve. But God is gracious. And she is Amazing.

I am so thankful for her. She is my biggest helper, she is growing into a young woman who is seeking God, she is a beauty both inside & out, she has a beautiful voice, she can be stubborn which can be both a blessing as well as a challenge, she is a lover of animals, she enjoys cooking and hanging out at home, she holds her friendships very dear, she has a sweet spirit (when she isn't scolding Justyn), and she is one of my very best friends.

I will post pictures of her special day soon!

Happy Birthday Princess.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Our friend could use your vote!

Our Friend Joe Misner is a local BLM horse trainer. He has recently entered another contest and could use a little help from us. Would you please take the time today to go to
and vote for him.

He uses these horses to present the neatest Gospel message you may ever see. It is called "the Gospel roundpen" He explains that how we (before accepting Christ) are much like an unbroke horse and how as we come to accept Jesus and know Him as Saviour and Lord - how we like a trained horse can then be used by Him.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Lord's Prayer

Today we were reading Matthew 6:1-18 and this is the passage of scripture where Jesus prays to His father in heaven as an example as how we are to pray. As the children & I were talking this came to mind and I thought I would also post it here. It's kind of an old one, but very thought provoking.

The Lord’s Prayer

          Our Father Who Art In Heaven.


          Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.

          But -- you called ME!

          Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven.

          There -- you did it again!

          Did what?

          Called ME.

          You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind?

          But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, Kind of like fulfilling a duty.

          Well, all right. Go on.

          Okay, Hallowed be thy name.

          Hold it right there. What do you mean by that?

          By what?

          By "Hallowed be thy name"?

          It means, it means. . Good grief, I don't know what it means. How in the world should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?

          It means honored, holy, and wonderful.

          Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before. Thanks.

          Thy Kingdom comes,

          Thy will be done,

          On earth as it is in Heaven.

          Do you really mean that?

          Sure, why not?

          What are you doing about it?

          Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.

          I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control, of everything down here like you have up there. We're kind of in a mess down here you know.

          Yes, I know; But, have I got control of you?

          Well, I go to church.

          That isn't what I asked you. What about your bad temper? You've really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money - All on yourself. And what about the kind of books you read?

          Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!

          Excuse ME. I thought you were praying For my will to be done. If that is to happen, It will have to start with the ones Who are praying for it? Like you -- for example.

          Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

          So could I.

          I haven't thought about it very much until now, But I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free.

          Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together - You and ME. I'm proud of you.

          Look, Lord, if you don't mind, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.

          Give us this day, our daily bread.

          You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is.

          Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I was doing my religious duty, And all of a sudden you break in. And remind me of all my hang-ups.

          Praying is a dangerous thing.

          You just might get what you ask for.

          Remember, you called ME - and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep praying. ( . . . pause . . ) Well, go on.

          I'm scared to.

          Scared? Of what?

          I know what you'll say.

          Try ME.

          Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

          What about Ann?

          See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories. She never paid back the money she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!

          But -- your prayer - What about your prayer?

          I didn't -- mean it.

          Well, at least you're honest. But, it's quite a load carrying around all that bitterness and resentment isn't it?

          Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born.

          No, you won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. You know how unhappy you are - Well, I can change that.

          You can? How?

          Forgive Ann. Then, I'll forgive you; And the hate and the sin, will be Ann's problem -- not yours. You will have settled the problem as far as you are concerned.

          Oh, you know, you're right. You always are. And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with you. . (Sigh).

          All right. . All right. .

          I forgive her.

          There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?

          Hmmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all! In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight. I haven't been getting much rest, you know.

          Yeah, I know.

          But, you're not through with your prayer are you? Go on.

          Oh, all right.

          And lead us not into temptation,

          But deliver us from evil.

          Good! Good! I'll do that.

          Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.

          What do you mean by that?

          You know what I mean.

          Yeah. I know.


          Go ahead. Finish your prayer.

          For Thine is the kingdom,

          And the power,

          And the glory forever.


          Do you know what would bring me glory --?

          What would really make me happy?

          No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you now. I've really made a mess of things. I want to truly follow you. I can see now how great that would be.

          So, tell me . . .

          How do I make you happy?

          YOU just did.

Monday, January 5, 2009

2009 is here....

and I seemed to miss it somehow.

so Without further ado here is the month of December is snapshot style!
Thanks for your patience.
Hopefully I will get past what seems like writers block as I get back into he swing of things
MaryRachael has decided to let me know when she doesn't want her picture taken....
"no mommy, no pictures, I am not in th mood!"

At daddy's work Christmas Party the kids each decorated thier own cookie
Christmas Dinner Italian Style : Bragiolle, artichoke casserole, homemade pepperoni bread, pasta with a light coat of sauce & fried calamari

The Boys and Arianna all got scooters
Our tree
SNOW!!!!!!! It's all gone now.

Keeping warm inside!

Happy New Year Goodbye 2008
Arianna & frank and their annual game of New Year's Monopoly.... This was before the government buyout (that mommy gave all her money & properties to Arianna in order to boost the *ahem*...economy) which didn't work, because frank won anyway!!!!

We are back to school, putting the "normal" routine back together and keeping busy with church, youth activities, volunteering & friends and well, of course schoolwork.

The holiday season was nice with frank off for 2 whole weeksreality set back in today as he went back to work too. It was a quiet time- we really didnt do anything super excitingWe did make a trip to the local park to hang out with friends and ride the new scooters!
We did bake for about 2 whole days with friends before Christmas. and then....

we passed around a stomach bug (yuck) from Christmas to New Years

Frank built me a table and 2 benches which are almost completed! They just need a few coats of poly to protect them from life around here! Hopefully the days will warm up enough to coat them this week sometime.

The 2 eldest children will be entering an art show this week locally. The 7 yr old guy was pretty upset, but if they do it again next year he too will be old enough to participate at which point the 14 year old will be too old.

Oh & if you have not heard from me it may be because my phone is well ....lets just say it *sniff* died. So all the numbers stored in my phone. gone. And I moved my sim card to our extra (just in case something happens) phone and the voicemail isn't even set up on it! so..... don't text me or leave a voicemail because I can't yet retrieve it, and I may not have your number to call you anymore either.... so if you are trying to reach me .... well drop me an email...