Sunday, February 23, 2014

Fan or Follower

I am sad. Last month a beautiful young woman took her last breath on this earth & came face to face with Jesus. Her name was  Cassie. Gone , what many would say, too soon. She was in the 1st youth group God gave us.

Tonight, another former youth group member too his last breath. Bobby, once again so very young. His mom died 2 years ago.  & he has fought leukemia for the past year. His little sister isn't so little anymore but she is like one of my own kidlets.   There are no right words.

2 very  different goodbyes barely a month apart.

A harsh reminder at just how precious life is. Every. Single. Day. A GIFT.

And at the end of the night as I was turning off lights & shutting off moms tv an episode of *Not a fan* comes on TBN.

I sat there a complete mess.

See what you may not know is how deeply I have struggled this past year. Not all my children have chosen to follow Jesus and sometimes I struggle with it. What I saw very plainly tonight was that whether my own childen choose to follow Jesus, or not....MY life and if I choose to follow Jesus with everything I have affects SO many others. And I had to come face to face with the very real reality that will I continue to follow Jesus even if my kidlets choose not to...

Yes. Because I am a follower.  I am not just a fan of Jesus.

In the episode tonight they said "confessing Jesus as our Lord isn't something we say with our lips, it's something we do with our life"

What about you? Are you a fan? Or a follower?
Not sure?

Then PLEASE take a moment and visit and decide.

Monday, February 10, 2014

3 weeks and counting

1st I want to tell you that my mom is doing amazingly well. And in the next few weeks she should be back to normal but without those cancer sticks ( aka cigarettes) in fact ... It has been over 3 weeks since she had even one.
I am really proud of her.
sometimes it takes a wake up... And I suppose having a dead leg and almost dying was that wake up for her.
I am busy weeding, taking my things to storage, spring cleaning and appointments and as of right now still very much in California apart from my band of gypsy travellers. And I miss them.
and if I am honest I don't completely understand but all I can do is trust that God knows what HE is doing.
It's a range of emotions.
and somewhere in the stillness it gives me time to continually SEEK Him.
and put together our much needed missionary support letters... I will put this time apart to good use.

It's just the waiting for answers I am having such a hard time with. The time apart. The quiet that is not my life.

I am still sharing the gospel bracelets and making good use of this season of way too much quiet...and helping mom to get back to normal. But its a new normal.

I suspect it will be interesting to see what God has planned.