Anything but tradional

This years Christmas was like no other.

different.
yet.
fun.
and.
at the same time...
bittersweet.

Christmas eve began at Church.
Celebrating the baby in a manger,
the birth of a Saviour.
that is the central focus of this Holiday we call Christmas.

then dinner at a local diner.

and a off to see Tangled
which was shown at a local movie theatre for free
(along with any movie they show)
on CHristmas eve,
to local military men and women and their familes.
It was fun!
but different.

just another way to keep our minds off the fact that daddy wasn't here this year.

then a fun surprise.
LEGOLAND!
They sold an internet special for $9.99 per person

so instead of waking up and unwrapping presents...
we walked right by them
and scurried out the door...

for a Christmas Day adventure!

What a wonderful day!

we were pilots
and heroes
and explorers
and tourists
we were pirates
and knights
and maidens.
We were shark bait!
and builders
and dinosaur explorers.
we were put in jail...
and ate pizza for lunch.


except.
we were missing him.

but with our paid admission we get to return and take him when he comes home.
it was a good day.
a good distraction.

then as we came home we came home to the smell of bragiolle, and pasta, and artichoke casserole wafting as we entered our doors. Grandma had prepared Christmas dinner.

so hungry children gathered round the table and enjoyed Grandmas dinner.

but our day was still not over.

off to the living room with excited eyes as they waited to open presents.
3 hours of delight
and laughter
and treasures
and smiles
and paper shredding.

late into the evening....

and as I snuggled into bed with the baby boy I heard from down the hallway excited chatter about the days events.

and we missed him.

but even though it was anything but traditional.
we survived Christmas
and look forward to a day when we wont have to be apart.

but it was a good day.

the night before a night or two before Christmas

As I was sitting wrapping gifts for my children for Christmas this poem I once read popped into my head.

Twas the night before Jesus came and all throught the house

Not a creature was praying not one in the house

Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care

In hopes that Jesus would not come there.



The children were dressing to crawl into bed

Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.

And mom in her rocker with baby on her lap

Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.



When out of the east there arose such a clatter

I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash



When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here

With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray

I knew in a moment this must be the day.



The light of His face made me cover my head

It was Jesus, returning just like he said

And though I possesed worldly wisdom and wealth

I cried when I saw Him, in spite of myself.



In The Book Of Life which He held in His hand

Was written the name of every saved man

He spoke not a word as he searched for my name

When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.



The people whose name had been written in love

He gathered to take to His Father above

With those who are ready He rose with out a sound

While all the rest were left standing around.



I fell to my knees but it was too late

I had waited too long and this sealed my fate

I stood and cried as they rose out of sight

Oh, if I had only been ready tonight.



In the words of the meaning is clear.

The coming of Jesus is drawing near.

There's only one life and when comes the last call

We'll find that the Bible was true after all.

Thank you Lord, Help me to remember what this season is truely about. Let me not grow weary from meaningless things that will one day pass away, help me to teach my children to Love You with all their heart. Lord. Help me.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours

My photography blog

hop on over and check out my new blog...

this one will still be here...

but the new one is for my photography endeavors...

let me know what you think.

I just set it up - and I will be tweaking it...

the boys have been elfed

What is a church anyway?

Out here in Cali... esp out here near the beach we have had a challenge.
FInding a church where we "fit"
that missing puzzle piece where we belong.
and it isnt an easy process.
much like finding that ever elusive needle in a haystack
and it should be so simple.
and if the church is the people why is it so hard for us to fit?
I have considered over and over that the problem is me.
and perhaps it is.
but
I am considering putting out an ad:

In search of the perfect church [for my family]. looking for a bible teaching, Bible believing fearless group of people that loves God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loves each other despite our differences. A group of people that can go to the Bible and agree on the doctrines, and wade through the teaching together- even if it gets uncomfortable. A group of people that is my earthly family- and we love each other even when we are unlovable, a support system that cares for each other through the dark times, an ear to listen on a lonely day, a sister or brother, or aunt or uncle to my kids- an accountibility partner to hold me up to keeping my word, a place to serve faithfully and be served (when necessary), a place to come even if it means the truth is spoken in love, a place where people dont turn their back on you and walk away

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’
teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread
and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul,
and many wonders and signs were being done.
Acts 2:42–43

Do you have a church like that on this earth? If you do, you are blessed.
Pray for us as we continue the journey... pray our roots dont wither, our flowers don't fade...and we find joy in the journey

Thankfulness

We have so much to be thankful for. I am trying to not look at the negatives. Hope you count your blessings today and every day. With the help of the Lord and Him as my strength, I hope to see my blessings throughout this thanksgiving rather than get down about the things that are not.

falling leaves

my life is a bit of a mess. and i am doing my best to sort it all out. and while my leaves may be scattered, my roots are *thankfully* firmly planted in knowing the my Lord is in charge of it all.
every. single. detail.
nothing is here that He hasnt allowed.
and despite my circumstances
I will choose to praise Him.

shattered trust

in His time there will be something beautiful out of this.
refined in the fire.
again.
still.
feel like I am broken glass
Thankful that My Saviour is sheltering me in His precious arms.

Birthdays times two

Normally when you have multiple birthdays on the same day you have twins, but not at our house. 11 years ago today my oldest son was born on my husbands birthday. And usually we alternate years of who gets to choose what to do.... and its my husbands year to pick.... but he is on the other side of the world *hopefully* enjoying some yummy coffee that we sent him in honor of his special day....
but we are gonna celebrate two of my favorite boys!

Happy Fall Y'all

button cute.

maybe its pumpkin cute!

and we didnt buy a single one...

but oh, the photo ops ;)

but I do have to say, it IS a little strange going to a nut farm , traipsing thru pumpkin fields without colored leaves and as you look up there are palm tree...

well I suppose this is fall in SoCal

and I do love those beautiful days!

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Today he is 1.

amazing.

I truely dont know where time went.

my sweet baby boy.

Happy Birthday little one.

Put in my place

tonight I drove a woman "home" that I went to church with for the last year.

She was at the new church's ladies Bible Study.

I didn't even know her name.

she is homeless.

she sleeps at the bus stop near the church we recently left.

and until today I didn't even know her name.

how horrible of me.

Lord,
watch over Dena - give her a place to go. Show me how I can be a friend to her. Thank you for giving me eyes to see.
~in Jesus name.
Amen

Turning it Over

I may have mentioned before I don't trust easily.

Over the summer we found ourselves wondering why we felt like the puzzle piece that didn't fit... and after meeting with the pastor and weeks of prayer we began a journey - looking for a new church. I was torn. On one side -the church was familiar. The kids seemed to "fit". We were greeted with handshakes and warm smiles. The teaching was rock solid.So what could be wrong?

We searched our hearts. Prayed. Thought about ways that we should grow where we had been planted... that going church shopping just didn't make any sense. Maybe, it WAS us. Maybe we were out of God's will. I began to question so much. We tried 3 churches in a whirlwind of the 6 weeks before the deployment.

And landed somewhere huge.

It's a good church. But starting over ...especially through a deployment is hard. I am standing on the promise that God is not the author of confusion 1Corinthians 14:33

and I am discovering my trust is shot.

and emotionally I am hurt.

and in order to step back in I have to have blind faith.

We are faithfully attending. The kids are invlved in the weekly Bible club. I am attending the womens Bible study... but the more I go the more I am beginning to see I am hlding everyone at arms length. I am not really letting anyone in...
my heart has to reopen and become vulnerable.

and I just don't know if I am ready for that.

Lord,
I give it all to you. take my heart and show me how to love and trust again the way you want me to. Direct my path, make it simple to see the joy again. Take me back to my First Love. Show me where you would have me to serve and help me to be genuine, real and to not guard my heart because ultimately you are the one protecting me. In Jesus name.
Amen

blogging blahs

I am most definately in a slump.

I don't mean in life.
but in writing.

Its not that there is nothing to talk about...

I just wonder if it is worth talking about.

I mean, some of it is real life...
BUT
if it isn't good should I blog about it?
Which raises questions...

lots and lots of them.

and still leaves me a bit befuddled.

be patient..if you're still out there.

Happy Birthday take 2

My son and my daughter were born a day apart, so its another day of birthday celebration around here.... and wishin there was a daddy here to celebrate these special days with us.

Happy Birthday

My Sweet Micah boy, my littlest babe.... my little peanut. I cannot believe today you are 9 years old. You were my miracle babe. Happy Birthday....

half my heart.... and all my flatbrats

are on the other side of the globe. But. no worries you can make your very own flat brats to send to your deployed loved one by following this handy dandy link and your very own photo and voila! your deployed service member does not have to be alone. And it is certain to boost troop morale as they all get a smile from your flatbrat crew. Make sure your service member has fun with it, and takes pictures of all of the flat brat adventures....

The Race

quietly waiting.
I can hear myself breathing.
The race begins soon.
The beads of sweat drop off my brow.
As the sun rises another day will dawn.
Another day to wait. and watch. and cling to...
before the big day.

God has chosen this race for me to run.
I cannot do it without Jesus CHrist at the center.
My race will influence others for Christ.
How it will influence them will be determined by how I run the race.
It is a marathon. not a sprint.
I will need to be consistant.
It may be filled with obstacles.
opposition.
perhaps even forces we cannot see.
that WILL try and steal my Joy
and God's glory.
I need to remember in order to win the race.
I can not drop out of it.

so for now.
I will hit my knees
and pray
because the Lord alone
will be the One to give me strength
to endure.

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

I am sometimes accused of being to passionate about some topics.

Be advised. This is one of them.

OpSec (operational security)

as you may have guessed we have rounded a corner on this upcoming deployment. Our days seem to draw a little shorter as reality seems to hit us.

and yet.

I think this one issue is key in having our military come home safe and sound. There are a lot of well meaning wives, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, sisters, aunts, etc that talk about priveledged information online, over the phone, in our facebook status, through emails...

we need to be so very careful!

here are a few rules I plan to follow...

DON’T USE YOUR SERVICE MEMBER’S REAL NAME
Don’t discuss current or future destinations/ ports of call/deployment bases .
Don’t discuss current or future operations or missions.
Don’t discuss current or future dates and times of exercises or missions.
Don’t discuss readiness issues and numbers.
Don’t discuss specific training equipment.
Don’t discuss people’s names and operations.
Don’t speculate about current or future operations.
Don’t spread rumors about current, future, or past operations or movements.
Don’t assume the enemy is not trying to collect information on you; he/she is.
Don't relay any type of sensitive information over electronic media
Don't assume your family members understand OPSEC guidelines! Go over them with them before your servicemember deploys!!

With all that said- I will be blogging about the deployment. But not what he is going through. I will not post issues of morale. I will not be sharing specifically where he is heading. I assumed other members in my family understood this and I was proven wrong. ANyhoo...

stepping down....
please understand this issue truely can be the straw that breaks the camels back and is very important to me