Friday, August 7, 2009

holding patterns

Do you ever feel like life simply is...?

I am frustrated a lot lately. Frustrated by my children's antics, lack of obedience, lack of discipline, and their friendships here since our move.

Frustrated by my home, the apartment complex, the lack of upkeep the staff does to the property, the often ghetto like mentality of the people that live here...

Frustrated at our church situation. While I truely love the Pastor and his teaching- I do not feel like we "fit in" anywhere. It feels lonely- even though we atend several services a week, there just doesnt seem to be a real "connection".

Don't get me wrong..I am thankful for all the blessings in my life, I am just having kind of a hard time seeing what they are right at the moment. We start school on Monday and I dont feel like the kids even care that we homeschool, the sacrifice, time and energy it takes, the faithfulness to a calling.

Maybe its the pregnancy, maybe I am just tired.

I know we have to continue our homeschool journey.... and a journey it has been. I guess I am just tired...trying to be a wife, a mom, a teacher and now my new role of power of attourney (handing many of my dad's affairs from long distances), a good daughter.... a constant babysitter to the kids in the apartment complex.... missing good friends from every corner of the globe it seems....

my dad is doing ok, been gaining weight and respoding well to radiation...

baby inside me is doing ok, although I do believe he thinks there is a trampoline inside there....

and wondering if I should even post this....

1 comment:

Rebekah said...

I feel that way a lot. Different situations but definately stuck in a holding pattern.