I think I will just stay in bed tomorrow.

When I was a kid my parents always made a big deal out of my birthday.

a very. BIG. deal.

being an only child one might even say I was spoiled. My mom always took the day off of work and my birthday pretty much revolved around what I wanted to do. some years that was a pool party, other years out to breakfast and a day filled with shopping, other years ... well yeah, you get the idea.

as I got older and married a guy where birthdays were NOT that big of a "tada"!!!
 that was hard on me.
So naturally when my daughter came along I did what my mom did for me but not nearly on such a scale.... and then the next kid & the next & the next & the next & the next & .... well Judah isn't one yet. And honestly over the years it has quieted down.. a lot.

mostly I am ok with not really celebrating my birthday BIG anymore.

or am I?

tomorrow is what one might call a milestone birthday.

and it will not get a big celebration.

no hoopla.

no fantastic trip out of the desert to the beach... or to visit my favorite orca.

but yet.

I ought to just be thankful for it right?

then why is it that all I wanna do is crawl into bed tonight and come back out on Friday when it's over?