Thursday, August 9, 2012

I don't like to feel

Sometimes i wish i could just put a lid on my emotions. I have talked here before about how i dislike the desert .... and I realize I am called a believer in be content in whatever season I am in.

But I remember so vividly sobbing each time I left Oceanside. Each trip *home* to the desert... just guttural sobs as I drove to my new home. My place to " be content".

There are still days like that for me here.  And sometimes it would be nice not to feel.

I miss my church there.
I miss an amazing group of girls there.
I miss the smell of the salty air& the ocean breeze.

And as I close my eyes on another day here in the desert I want to continue to choose to be content....but then why can't I stop these tears?

1 comment:

mom22evs said...

I can feel your pain I still miss Florida like I left yesterday, even though I haven't really lived there since I was 12, and since I was 4 I only got to go in the summer to visit my dad. But he still lives there as does a piece of my heart and always will I suspect. When I think too long on it I am seized by gut wrenching sobs that threaten to consume me. I pray you will be comforted and find a new joy here at least until He moves you elsewhere, wherever that may be. You are loved here by many. Praying for you always.