Wednesday, September 2, 2009

moving, my dad, homeschooling my children and other complicated issues....

the thought of "what would you do for a klondike bar" came to my head as it started pounding this morning. Not that I particularly even eat that kind of ice cream bar, just that my head had started pounding with all the complications of the day....

last week we received unofficial news that we should have a slot in base housing in the very near future. problem is, that offer is not on paper, and without paperwork doesnt completely exist. last week I had mentioned it to my dad who, jokingly said, now we can come live with you in California- a commitment I had tried to get them to make in July when they adamantly refused. joke is- we changed housing lists in August from a list for a 5 bedroom to a list in a 4 bedroom BECAUSE my parents refused to come. so over the weekend , apparently they discussed it among themselves and decided to move in with Frank and I. so we were "notified" that they have about 45 days until their house will be foreclosed upon- at which point they want to move in with us. That concerns me as it is days away from when the baby is actually due to arrive... so I told them if they plan to move they have about 30 days to get things sold and move out here.

then there is the issue of their pets. Moving into base housing we are alloved 2 pet. and no more. My family has lost so much this year. All we have left is 2 dogs. the horses, cats, goats, ducks, chickens geese are all gone. The sting of that, while fading, is still fresh when the subject of finding a home for our dogs came up. My mom wants to bring her mini-poodle. He is not up to date on his shots, needs health certificates to travel, a new crate and plane fare- none of which I have cash on hand to do. so what do you tell your mom n dad who are leaving everything they have known for the last 12 years behind, including a large portion of their independance, to come and live with you. The poodle is cute and has a great dispostion with adults. He has never been exposed to children of any age... and I will have 6 children. A dog who may not like one or all of them, in my life, is simply not an option.

Then there are issues like medical coverage. We discovered today that while my dad's previous employer has been taking care of his insurance premiums and has agreed to do so until his medicaid is approved - uses an insurace company that is inclusive to NC. Because both my parents have pre-existing cancer conditions finding a company that will carry insurance for them month to month is simply not affordable. And while I can sign them up for medicaid/ mediCal out here we will be starting that lengthy process from the beginning again. I have found a local clinic where they can go to been seen and get prescriptions BUT it is certainly questionable whether or not my dad will be able to continue any type of treatment out here until/unless he gets on medicaid- which is a 3+ month process.

I am overwhelmed. The thought of having a baby very soon, moving, moving my parents to CA, continuing to homeschool, are wearing on me. I have many doubts if I can do it all... and wondering if I can't what are my options. I do believe we as a family are called by God to continue homeschooling. I believe that more today than I did the day we began. I am scared however that somehow I will fail in one or all of these areas, or fail my parents or fail my children.

To top it all off Frank works a full marine corps week and then is enrolled in college. It is hard. I am not looking for easy, I am just praying that the Lord will direct our steps each and every step of this journey.

I am bringing my dad to CA to care for him as he dies. And while it could give the children an opportunity to know a man they barely know, is it fair to ask them to continue to homeschool and share their life with their grandma and grandpa- or do I offer a choice....send the ones that want to to public school on base- and pray for their days. I dont know the answers. In my heart i do not feel like we are supposed to stop homeschooling.

Please pray for us.


Especially Heather said...

Oh sweet friend, what a heavy load you carry.. You answered your own question in the last sentence of your post. If you really feel the Lord has not released you from homeschooling than keep going. Public school is a perfectly good option in your circumstance, but I would hate for you to miss the Lords leading in the midst of your despair. I will definitely keep you and your entire family in my prayers. Please keep me informed on what you decide.

Hold onto hope,

Robin said...

Wow! I will pray for you and your trials.
I don't want to seem insensitive but in regards to mom's poodle, after what you have been through and how they have handled things--the poodle finds a new home and NOT yours. It seems cruel and being an animal lover I feel for your mother's loss but there is a limit to what one can handle!
If you feel led of the Lord to keep at home schooling stay with it! You just may need to rethink your approach.
I am in awe at what you have been called to deal with.
Hang in there!
Robin @ bloggingbird64