Do what HE calls you to do

Moving back to the desert was supposed to be easy. A perfect fit. One size fits us. A complete package....

But instead it has been wrought with uncertainty, a hint of lonliness, and has left me questioning why God led us back here... granted it hasnt been long and I did have a baby & I am still buried a bit in the unpacking process....

But we have been fellowshipping at a new church.... & last Sunday & tonight I have been hit squarely in my heart by the words that was taught.

I need to stop walking in the flesh. Remember how to be a disciplemaker. and you might be thinking you? You havn't forgotten. But I would say.. yes... I have. I am very willing to make an investment in a child or teen or even another person... but to be a disciplemaker I have to be willing to walk in the trenches with them and even get a bit messy... and I AM willing... but not always when they need me.
I need to dig deep & be a person of prayer. The Word of God is eternal.
I should be investing my life in the Word of God, Jesus & people.
And I was faced with the questions... am I investing in those 3 things...

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

I need to change my behavior.

As I told this to my daughter she said... "but mom, we are better than most people" and I said.. that is not good enough. Its not about comparison. Its about loving Jesus so much that you cannot imagine not obeying His Word. It isn't an obedience based out of legalism... but one based out of a deep love.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

I should be equipped for every good work.

Truth is as a believer in Christ if I am not equipped to be kind and tenderhearted, willing to lend a hand or offer an ear to listen or even speak the truth in love or share the Gospel then I am not living for Jesus....

James 1:21-22 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

Accept the Word & DO WHAT it says to do.

Don't be self deceived, don't think I am better than anyone ... but if I have the knowledge of what I should do as a christian and do nothing with it... does that even make me useful? And if I don't share the good news with others ... does that make me much use to God's kingdom?

READ the Word of God. This is so simple and yet so easy to skip. in the daily hustle & bustle of life.. how easy to just say ...oh I will read it tomorrow... and how many tomorrows does it take before we do read God's Word?

I was reminded that if I am not careful I will take in just enough of the Word to be immunized by it's truth, which at some point will render me not entirely useless but certainly a baby needing to feed off other people who have a stronger walk with Christ than I do. I need to be memorizing scripture. I need to be intentional about studying and hearing the Word of God.

It's not easy.

But what if the reflection people see of me doesn't reflect Christ & I call myself a believer in Christ?

I am not saying I can achieve perfection. I can't and thank goodness for grace. But what if I did take God's Word so seriously that the life I lived did become a direct reflection of God's Word. How would that change me?

AM I willing to submit & find out?

When love came down.

Lately I have been hearing mixed messages about Jesus.

Some would say.... well we ALL are saved. God is a good God He doesn't want anyone in hell. And while part of that IS true God is a good God and he most certainly doesn't desire to send people to hell ... He does. When we don't choose Him. The only way to Him is through His one and only Son, Jesus.

Recently I heard a pastor teach on the 7 major world religions. On the chart he handed out he said that 33% of the world is Christian. But in that 33% he included many different nonchristian believers. People groups that do not believe that Jesus is the one and only way to heaven. I do think that in that liberalism.... in that "religious tolerance" the truth is watered down too much and that the Gospel is not preached in a way that leads anyone to the saviour.

But the opposite is also true.

I have dear friends that are Messianic in their faith... that observe the Sabbath and follow the rules in the Torah claiming the law is the only way. I think this is equally dangerous. Being too bound by the law, and entangled in the chains of legalism they teach that Christmas is an abomination. But sadly at a time of tear when many seek the saviour - they are pushing them away from the Jesus who paid the ultimate sacrifice and took their place killed as a common criminal for their sin. Are they so far removed from the day they received their own salvation that they can no longer remember the redemption that was inly available by grace. That whether they trim a tree or debate when the birth of Jesus actually took place upon the Hebraic calendar doesn't really matter at all. It is the birth of Jesus that is important not the debates. As those debates could lead unbelievers further and further from how great Gods love is.

Do we celebrate Christmas? Well we do. But hopefully like many other Bible believing Christian families we do it differently. We go to church on Christmas eve. We try not to get sucked into the vortex of greed and commercialism. We try to live within our means. Not purchasing needlessly on credit buying things we cannot afford. Trying to teach our children that black Friday... in itself is not evil.... but the greed associated with it is. We teach that Santa was a real man... the history and truth... and that all good gifts are from God. We don't pretend to deceive them that they will find laptops, ans ipods under the tree... as those things fade. We exchange 3 gifts. Some of which are handmade... a representation that the baby in the manger was brought 3 gifts by the Magi. We teach the truth of His birth. That the babe in a manger was probably not born in December but that this is when we celebrate His birth as Christians. We bake cookies and take them to neighbors as a gesture of kindness. We do.much like this throughout the year but we do make an extra effort at Christmas and pray a bit more fervently that they also would come to know and love Jesus.

Unlike my very liberal friends we serve Jesus with our lives - where often you cannot tell whether or not they are believers. The profess christ with their mouth and yet deny  Him with their actions. My other friends abide by the letter of the law. The law Jesus came to complete because noone could achieve it. They measure how they love Jesus by how strictly they follow the law.

But I don't think that is the answer either
I think when Jesus is your 1st love you live your life seeking after Him. Reading His word. Abiding in His desires. But all the time being aware that you are saved by grace... and you want everyone you know to experience that grace and love Jesus like you do.... drawing them to the saviour not repelling them from Him.

May you share the truth of the saviour this holiday with friends, family, and those you just meet. Making them ask you - what is different about your life. Take time to keep Jesus at the center of this holiday. Bring someone a warm meal, a plate of cookies, a gift for their children but most importantly invite them to church and introduce them.to your 1st love - and maybe if you can't say that Jesus is your 1st love... its time to let Him be that.

OverRuled. the movie

If you are a parent...
If you ever want to be or plan to be a parent....
Please, set aside 35 minutes and watch this short film put out by parentalrights.org

           

Schnoodle sadness....

We buried Bella today. She was a schnoodle and she was 10 months old. And while her cause of death is unclear it might have been a direct result of an adverse side effect from a pill called "comfortis" known to kill fleas.

What is in the fine print is that it causes all sorts of side effects. vomiting. up to 6 days. decreased appetite. Lethargy. diarreah. and seizures just to name a few. it is a systemic pesticide that we now "safely" give our animal to get rid of fleas. And I did something I never do. I gave it to her without reading about the risks before administering it.

why?
I have no idea.

I am a shot delaying mama.
I dont even do the flu shot cuz i have read too much negative stuff.
and yet I gave my 10 month old pup a pestiticide to ingest to rid us of fleas.
stupid.
and now she is gone.

we buried her today in the desert. the vet said Tuesday to bring her in by Thursday if she didnt get better. problem is Wed she seemed deaf. and perhaps had already had tonic seizure activity. she was still drinking and trying to eat... but it was too late. When we awoke this morning she had died in her sleep..

perhaps there were underlying issues. I will never know. What I do know is that I will never give my dogs a flea pill again. I will go topical long before I ever consider giving them an internal pesticide.

before you do please read ALL the links in this post thouroughly.

180 The movie

watch it!


I have very strong opinions on this topic. The halocaust it being erased from our history books and abortion is killing millions of babies.  please.. no matter what your opinion is on either of these two topics watch this short 33 minute film before you make a decision!

Rest in Peace

I have never claimed to be the most popular gal when it comes to topics... mostly cuz I am willing to tackle the tough stuff. I have felt this one brewing for over a week.... so here goes nothing...



so recently another rock star passed from this life into eternity, and all over facebook I saw R.I.P Amy.
This really really really bothered me.
People all over the web posting Rest in Peace...

really?

Do YOU think she rests in peace tonight?

or is that just something we do for not telling the world about the Jesus we love and adore and then keep to ourself?

or.....
 Is that something we do because we cant imagine the idea that real people do spend eternity in hell?

Now Hell was NOT created for us. In fact I truly believe God's heart breaks every single time one of the beloved people He created is sent to that most unfathomable horrific place. But reality is: There is an eternity and only 2 paths. heaven or hell. and real people DO spend an eternity there.... and if you dont choose Jesus that IS where you end up. In Hell. for Eternity.

folks. that is forever.

F.O.R.E.V.E.R

and I think this parable bothers me the most about it....

Luke 16:19-31

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Rich Man and Lazarus

19 “There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. 20 But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate, 21 desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell[a] from the rich man’s table. Moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

24 “Then he cried and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. 26 And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.’

27 “Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’ 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’”

You see there are several things that deeply disturb me about this parable but .... the rich man can see into heaven. He cries out to Lazarus to simply touch his tongue for just a moment of relief... and then to be sent back so that his family members could avoid this torment.... but nowhere in the parable does Lazarus respond. Abraham does. Now I am not a Bible scholar.... but what if people in hell (hades) can see us in heaven and cry out to us... but we cant see them??? But based on this parable, just knowing they are there in torment wishing someone would go back and warn their family, their loved ones... so that they too could rest in peace in the Eternity of heaven.... bothers me deeply. What if that someone is me that they can see. Or You?

So be intentional and share your faith, invite folks to church, go where the people who dont know Jesus are and share the amazing Saviour with them - but dont just assume that everyone rests in peace.

Freedom

It isn't Free and it costs so many of us nothing at all.

But as America was founded....

the troops fought for freedom. 

with little of no pay at all.

they fought because they believed in America. 

Happy 4th of July. 

something old...something new...something borrowed.... something blue

Reading up about hands on homeschooling....

found a great article about unschooling here

but very much love the amazing person and the blog she has that this friend of mine shares about the Charlotte Mason Approach

I will reluctantly call it unschooling... but CM isnt really and truly unschooling.

It is teaching your children to love learning through parent directed learning.

so for now we are soaking up the mound of library books we came home with today, reading our Bibles, playing board games, and learning new stuff, gearing up for Kids Camp  as well as remembering how to just enjoy learning again.

Lord,

I dont know exactly what I am doing. But I know You are leading our family in a new direction for the upcoming school year. Help me to be faithful to prayer and reading Your Word as you guide and direct our path. I thank you for revealing where we were lacking... and making us teachable. I thank you for the resources to research this change but more importantly the how to actually do this change. Forgive us for getting so distracted. Help up to rediscover the love for learning we once had.
in Jesus Name.

Amen

We need to talk....

not exactly words I long to hear at 10:39 at night.

usually that means I have spent too much money on something
or not finished something that should have been completed days ago...
or I shrunk something I shouldnt have
or didnt get around to washing his socks

rarely are those words something I long for.

but tonight ....

I am still reeling after those words.

the past few years have been wrought with changes...
leaving the simplicity of the desert
dealing with my parents
deployments
not seeming to fit in

and homeschooling has had its ups and downs.

people telling me I am doing it all wrong...
trying to make everyone happy....
struggling to do it the way other people
(to include my husband)
think I should

but in that mess.
the Joy of it has been gone for a while

and he has noticed.

while dinner is on the table and the carpet gets vaccuumed.

something has been missing.

so tonight.... he said
"I dont know where to start, but I want to help you... I dont think we are headed in the right direction"
I almost didnt breathe.
what could he say next...
put the kids in public school?
I was feeling sick to my stomach.

"I think we need to reexamine how we are teaching the kids and find our joy again"
"we need to do some praying. and come back with the love of learning we used to have"

yes.
i totally agree.
now...
to figure out how.

Take time to remember

Freedom isn't free.

Bringing baby starfish home

I have a new friend at church. A special lady named Mary  She and her husband have created an amazing blog as they adopt a baby from Uganda. Can you help them out?

... Please "like" or leave a comment on our posts on Earth Monkey Mom's page today. Whoever gets the most action gets free advertising on their blog for a week! We could REALLY use this since we had almost no fundraising action for quite a while now... Thank you! ♥

Or you can check out her fundraising site here

Help them bring baby starfish to his new home.

Read their blog. and share their story!

lookie lookie..we're all still here

drop by here and check out this amazing post!!!!

I just love what this guy has to say!!!

Diving in....

One thing about me....

I tend to not walk to the waters edge and stick a toe in the water.

This time is no different...

so

I am diving in.

We have been burned . but God has put salve on our wounds

and scattered. but God has faithfully brought us where he wants us

thrown to wolves. but God has encamped around us and kept the wolves at bay

broken. but even in the brokenness as God puts the pieces back together the image is still beautiful.

and even though there are fears.

We are stepping back into another church,

putting our hearts out there

and we want to be the hands and feet of Jesus

so despite our ...

blows.

we are stepping back into the ring.

into serving.

into giving

into faithfulness.

into friendships

and fellowship

Lord.

in all that we do

may we do it for you

and glorify only you

Let others see in us

the Jesus we love and adore.

I am sometimes accused of being to passionate about some topics.

Be advised. This is one of them.

OpSec (operational security)

as you may have guessed we have rounded a corner on this upcoming deployment. Our days seem to draw a little shorter as reality seems to hit us.

and yet.

I think this one issue is key in having our military come home safe and sound. There are a lot of well meaning wives, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, sisters, aunts, etc that talk about priveledged information online, over the phone, in our facebook status, through emails...

we need to be so very careful!

here are a few rules I plan to follow...

DON’T USE YOUR SERVICE MEMBER’S REAL NAME
Don’t discuss current or future destinations/ ports of call/deployment bases .
Don’t discuss current or future operations or missions.
Don’t discuss current or future dates and times of exercises or missions.
Don’t discuss readiness issues and numbers.
Don’t discuss specific training equipment.
Don’t discuss people’s names and operations.
Don’t speculate about current or future operations.
Don’t spread rumors about current, future, or past operations or movements.
Don’t assume the enemy is not trying to collect information on you; he/she is.
Don't relay any type of sensitive information over electronic media
Don't assume your family members understand OPSEC guidelines! Go over them with them before your servicemember deploys!!

With all that said- I will be blogging about the deployment. But not what he is going through. I will not post issues of morale. I will not be sharing specifically where he is heading. I assumed other members in my family understood this and I was proven wrong. ANyhoo...

stepping down....
please understand this issue truely can be the straw that breaks the camels back and is very important to me

the dangers of social networking

yesterday evening I updated my status on facebook... it read...

why, when people die, do we automatically assume they went to heaven?

well I sparked a debate. an unitended debate. apparently one of my "friends" had posted about someone she knew dying and automatically assumed I had seen her post.

I had not.

and when going to check what she said I found she had unfriended me...

and when I went to write her a message....

I found out she had completely blocked any inbound emails from me....

it was NOT a personal attack on whatever her status said, I hadnt even read her status... I had simply updated mine from the application on my phone... which hadn't shown me the update on her status... which I have officially never seen.

what bothers me is that ONE single comment can end a friendship.

are we so shallow that we end friendships based on status updates. I find that utterly incredible.

now I understand my status update had to be pretty close in succession to hers on facebook to have her take it so very personal - but what kind of friend doesnt even ask you to work it out???

and if this friend is "outa here" over a facebook post I wonder how many other faux friends I have out of the 200+ friends.... most all of which I have know in real life.... so I have decided to cool it for a week and take a break from facebook cuz it so isn't worth this kind of stress.

and as much as I love that facebook keeps me connected with friends, I despise that it divides people just as quickly.

On Our Knees

Normally on any given Friday night by 11 o'clock you will find me nursing Aaron and snuggled down for the night with Frank, but tonight was different. You see Sunday is Friend Day at our church and they are encouraging everyone to invite a friend, or 2 or 10 or 20 and providing a wonderful pancake breakfast for everyone in between their two services. But tonight was the 24 hour prayer vigil. Now I have gone to one or two prayer vigils in the 11 yrs I have been a christian. OK, one other. But tonight brought me to my knees.

I felt so small. We were asked to fill out cards with the people we wanted to invite to Friend Day. Hundreds maybe more that 2000 cards sat in the sanctuary in piles. Short of flipping through the cards saying "LORD, bring Larry to church for Salvation and Chris, and Moe and Steve, And Matt" There was NO POSSIBLE WAY to pray for each individual person on every single card during the one hour time block I signed up for. I only got through 2 piles in and hour and a half. Some cards were written by preschoolers, some by an elderly person, others by neighbors, coworkers, aquaintences, Marines, friends, employees, students, children, parents, aunts, uncles, and so many more. They were written for children and starbucks baristas, teachers and friends, entire families. I prayed over as many as I could and still felt so very very small.

As I drove away I heard great songs like City on our Knees by TobyMac and Brandon Heath's Give Me Your eyes and started praying for those coming and going to and from the church all throughout tonight. As the invites go out again tomorrow door to door, for all those involved from people serving pancakes, to people directing parking, to the choir and worship team, to the nursery workers, for the youth leaders and childrens church workers, for the alter team, the greeters, the hospitality teams and the Pastor. And in the midst of it I was humbled and felt oh so very small.

So many people don't know Christ as Saviour. My heart literally breaks just thinking about it. So many people headed for a Christless eternity unless...

unless someone invites them to church
unless God draws them near
unless they accept and receive the free gift of salvation

it is so simple and yet so very complicated.

Please pray for them all.

calling

Do you believe God puts something in our heart?

I do.

We are called to the missions field.

ANd while we have waited and are still waiting for God to tell us when... and where... I am terrified of it, and yet. I know it is what God wants us to do.

several weeks ago my husband texted me a message. one word.

UGANDA.

I dont know why.... in fact I hadn't even given this a 2nd thought until tonight when I watched a show on ABC about child sacrifice in Uganda. ANd I looked into the faces of people I don't know, and wondered could I love them like Jesus does? Could I put my own children in harms way at the possibility of even leading one to eternal life with Christ. ANd realized I honestly don't know.

That is the scariest thing ever to me, that somehow we will be called to a mission field that will not be "safe" for our family.

I wish I knew the answers.

ANd I don't know ANY of the answers.

Praying God will show us when, and where and how....

So, is it Uganda? I don't know. We are praying about taking a missions trip to another missionary family located in Mexico, The Lockwoods, this summer with our family.... praying God would lead guide and direct every step because I have absolutely no idea, all I know is that each day the draw to missions work gets stronger, and each day I feel more and more unprepared for what God will call us to do.

The stockings were hung...

I am an only child. That said, Christmas in my house, for me, was always awesome. Lots of baking to do...some with mom,some with grandma's, sometimes with Aunts... weekend shopping trips with my dad...lots of them, presents to wrap... I dont ever remember a Christmas where I didnt get pretty much every single thing I had asked for.

As I got older I wanted to make those kinds of christmases happen for my children. the big tree, lots of cookie making, craft making, Christmas card sending, and lots of presents under the tree...

And I KNOW that is not the point of Christmas. NOT.AT.ALL.

We don't even celebrate the man in the big red suit... he has a place in history, and my children know of the guy, but they also know our Blessings come from God.

But.....

We still put up a tree...

Do Lots of baking....

wrap bunches of beautifully clad packages....

make wonderful homemade crafts...

send cards to friends near and far....

But do I do ENOUGH to let my children know that it's all about Jesus?

Would it be enough to gather Christmas morning in the living room and sing Praises to our God and Newborn King... if there was no tree? no gifts? no Christmas dinner? no special desserts, no cards sent or received...?

I strugle with this every year since coming to a saving knowledge of Christ. My kids do know the true reason for the season... but would even they want to celebrate if I served hot dogs and chips? and there was no present... not even 1.

Would it even feel like Christmas to me?

Honestly, I would like to say yes... but I just don't know.

Each of my kiddos are getting one thing they asked for, and while we started out trying to stay small, stockings are filled to the brim, 15 different kinds of cookies are in the house, gifts are in abundance, its not all at once. Its a little here and a little there... and all of a sudden it is bigger than I thought it had gotten.

I dont want to be so focused on the things that if we took them away, Christ wouldnt be enough. Because HE is. At least, He ought to be.

But here I am at 2:45 am blogging about what CHristmas should be.... and if I answer honestly ... why I am up.... it was because I was wrapping those oh. so. unimportant gifts.

ouch.

A line in the sand

well I did it this time.... I have laid it all on the line... and discussed with my mother the possibility of her moving out at some point.... and I suppose we will find out how she took the news over the next several days....

but she seems miserable here. She hates being here all the time. On almost a daily basis she tells me how trapped she feels, how worthless her life is here... and I just can't fix it for her.

and when she brought groceries home today I helped her unload them and I was hit in the face by a smell I have come to loathe.... cigarette smoke. I have suspected, even gone so far as to ask her if she was smoking again. She adamantly denied it. Before my parents even stepped on the plane they were both told they had to completely quit smoking to move in with us. Smoking outside and coming in was NOT part of the equation. And as I leaned over to grab the bags I saw it.

The ash tray in my dad's car was 1/2 full.

I came in and asked again. She lied straight to my face. I could still smell the lingering smell of smoke on her clothes.

It was all I could do not to lose it.

I told her she has a choice to make.

She does.

I will not tolerate a smoker in our home with our children. If she wants to put herself in the ground by smoking those horrible cancer sticks I will not support it.

I do not know what to do. I suppose I wait and se if she chooses to move out.

Let me say this. I am not throwing her out or asking her to make a choice with no income. Last week she went to SSI and applied for widows benefits and she has already received her first check - and it is more than half of what Frank and I make monthly. SO she can afford to live on her own, should she choose to do so.

and try not to listen to the sound of my dad's voice in my memory saying... "but you promised to take care of her"
And I did... but that promise was made that I was not moving smokers into my home. They had agreed to COMPLETELY quit. And yes. I knew I was asking a lot.

How many people have to suffer for her choices under our roof?

A Parent's Prayer

a lot of "Stuff" has happened this week. And last night as I got a drink of water from the kitchen I looked up at the prayer that hangs upon my wall above the sink. Today, I would like to share that prayer with you.

Lord,
as I live this day,
renew in me the ability to laugh
at my childrens antics;
the time to share
their moments of pride;
the need to praise
their seperate strengths;
the faith to trust
their growing judgement;
the patience to understand
their changing moods;
the virtue to forgive
their disrespect;
the openness to learn
their ways and styles;
the ears to hear
what they are saying;
the insight to embrace
their doubtsw and fears;
the tenderness to understand
their broken dreams;
and the wisdom to accept
that their lives are built
just one day at a time.
Amen

May I be reminded of that each and every day, that I have only been entrusted with their care. Never let me hurt them or take them for granted- they are for God's glory not mine. Help me to be a godly mom and show them Christ's love no matter what else happens in our lives.