Tuesday, May 15, 2012


we all have a few...or don't we? 

I remember an evening a long time ago when a friend from GA said I needed some.... and I did. I really didn't have any.

I grew up with a close girlfriend or two.

But after attending an all girls private catholic school... I knew that girls were not to be trusted.

so. I didn't

And as I read this amazing post about friendship this morning..... I realized I have fewer than I ever thought. at least in real life. ya know... one's with skin on.

At the Women of Faith event last year Lisa Welchel taught about this very thing. & I found myself wondering how many real & true friendships ... she said if in a lifetime you have 1 or 2 real friends you are blessed. And because we have moved from place to place some of those real & true friendships got locked inside my computer... or my cell phone... in the form of blogs, Facebook friends & text messages as those friends with skin moved away... or moved on.

& still I felt alone.

I mean how can a girl that lives in Oceanside CA feel lonely?
but I did. 
I mean, I had friends.
But I don't know if I have ever really truly ever had a best friend since grade school.
A few close friends ... yes.
for sure.
I am actually blessed to have people from each move... each duty station... that were a huge factor in my life. But sometimes I felt like I was still on the outside.

Then I moved back to the desert.
where people are together a very. long. time.
& like I mentioned sometimes it feels like standing n the outside looking in.
& obviously we all have our own lives.
& families.
& well stuff that keeps us occupied...

And I am hoping that as I figure out where I fit.... that God would give me a few friends that I can share my fears and hopes with... my joy and laughter as well as my tears... that my kids will be loved & accepted by their families... that they will love me for who I am where I am at in my walk with Christ & yet challenge me to greater things... that they will be my encourager ... my prayer partner.... my confidant.

but for me trust doesn't come easy...

so they will also have to be patient with me.


and if you're out there... and reading this and have shared a friendship with me... THANK YOU.

our lives are so transient that it is hard.... And in a world that says "if they hurt you just move on" it's hard to keep true real time friends that last a lifetime. often we have friends for a season. I have had a lot of those. sadly for me. that is part of the why I have a hard time with trusting again.

But we have to keep reaching out.

See the truth is.. there is at least a few girls out there that feel the very same way I do... and are just waiting for a friend too... but are too scared to say it. too scared to trust... too scared to be real.

be their friend & in time God will grown those friendships.

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
 “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” C.S. Lewis

 and for those of you out there reading this... that have been a friend with skin on... but we are no longer together (except through electronic media) this is for you :)
                      friendship friendship friendship


Casey C. Springer said...

I dont feel like I will ever have friends like yall in NC. People just dont get it. I have been hurt by more people here than anywhere.

jennifer said...

Casey... my dearest friends ... are trapped in my pc :) and I will never forget our adventures. I have never loved my girl friends as deeply as I did there ... you & renee were the 1st very good friends i had.

Casey C. Springer said...

I still laugh when I think of the goldfish...

jennifer said...

Or the nursery....the night when we were waiting for all those inconsiderate parents to pick up their kids... & then we realized... they were ALL ours!

Kristi said...

Hi Jennifer...I have always been the one who stayed here in 29 while my military friends moved on, ever since I can remember.. This time it is I that is moving on..In 6 weeks or so (to be pretty exact). O know that if i was staying here, I wouldve loved to get to know you better..as a former home schooling mom of 3 boys and from the wonderfully transparent things you write in your blog,I think we would get along pretty darn good!!! :)...But I have to say, I have been very reluctant to make new friends before I leave, it makes it that much harder to break away from everyone..I know they'll be here in my computer as always, but for the first time im emotional about leaving.. I about lost it (tears :*(..) when Connie Kelley gave me a big hug tonight after youth group....Ive been strong for too long, reality is hitting and I am leaving an now I am crying.. I guess I've had all this locked inside of me and thanks to reading your blog tonight, with your "realness", I can face these emotions I've had locked deep inside..You see I have never moved away before..Ive lived in Oceanside and Vista with my first husband a lifetime ago and I went to college for 2 years in N.Calif..thats it..Do you have any words of wisdom for transitioning and my journey into new territory? Im actually a little scared (there I said it!)..Love, Kristi

Kristi said...

Ugh..my grammar is awful..tired at 1am and didnt proofread..ha!